Sneakily following
swift like a feline
your paws grace on
each step unable to trace
like the outlines
around your lips
where wine splashes
and drunken smiles
highlight the night

crashing about
leaping through windows
locked from the inside
guards lay sleepily
curled within comfort
and unwilling to change
the alarm sounds
but its too late
your in my view

I watch forbidden subtleties
acted out
through words never spoken
fingers entrenched
occupy my senses
as you go about your way
and with distractions sucessful
my heart is yours
feel free to stay

1650

jest we once played
ignorant of the rest
close my arms bound around you
head on your chest
time felt generous
promise all but bleak
distance closing around us
finding what I seek

soon did dark times lay
promised protection from harm
lazy snow danced on your hair
the day I saw myself scared
with a mouth spewing verbal flame
nouns of poison filled the air
I tried to deflect them back
but your final word had me defeated
there was no winning a war already lost
just save time and lessen the cost
someone else had your reign
left alone I was in pain

as days passed with blight
I found beauty
hidden from you
and when trees glistened
sprouting olive green promise
new hands intertwined with mine

but a voice thrust upon my thoughts
second chance from the victor
you spoke ignorance
admitting of mistakes
we cast out regret
and set on out again
the pleated path invitingly wide
to my heart did you confide

Treason
did you not say
the battle was over
my armor broken
intentions
a sillouette of flame
did many cycles you wait
waiting for just one
mistake


loved the word, said it once
once again without a hunch
twice shouted with repair
softly whispered without dispair

loved it less, yelled it still
meant it more to bend your will

loved you then
love you now
wave goodbye
say it loud

Random

It's been a long time since ive had some banging mashed potato's.

You may not know it

From this Blog, but theres something I miss dearly. I've ignored it for a while; titled and encoded it somewhere safe, yet in the end it finally won.

I miss being in love. I really miss it. It's the one thing I cant buy or bargain or connive my way into having, but I miss it in the worst way. I've masked it for a while and really believed that I wasnt interested in relationships. But I am, and being lonely sucks.

I miss wanting something storybook, or at least very romantic. I miss sticking to my guns even if it means being hurt by having a lack of realism. I want another first kiss to be as great as the first kisses ive had before. I dont want to think clearly anymore when it comes to the heart. I want some part of my life to retain that innocent glint it used to, and while ive grown up in a lot of area's, I just want one part of me to stay seventeen, when I would watch romantic movies and get caught up in a trance, wishing just one part of the chemistry on screen would one day be experienced by me. I want an unlikely meeting and doing surprise gestures and buying more flowers than I can count. I want someone to kiss me like they not only want to, but they need to, like everytime is an untapped well of desire ready to explode at any moment.

I miss all of this, and im well overdo to admit it. There was a void I kept trying to fill with everything, be it food or lies or video games or any old excuse to stay focused for hours without thinking.

it's more than that though. I mean as most of you know my previous relationship had.. a lot of downpoints to it. There was a lot to work on and there were times I disliked what was going on. But in the end, its what comes with the territory. I want to work on things and make sacrifices and all that jazz.

Serendipity knew me too well

Jonathan Trager

  
                 
prominent television producer
for ESPN

  
                 
died last night from
complications of losing
his soulmate and his fiance

  
                 
He was 25 years old
and soft-spoken and obsessive.

  
                 
Trager never looked the part
of a hopeless romantic.

  
                 
But in the final days
of his life,

  
                 
he revealed
an unknown side of his psyche.

  
                 
This hidden
quasi-Jungian persona...

  
                 
surfaced during
the Agatha Christie-like pursuit
for his long-reputed soulmate,

  
                 
a woman whom he only spent
a few precious hours with.

  
                 
Sadly, the protracted search
ended late Saturday night...

  
                 
in complete and utter failure.

  
                 
Yet even in certain defeat,

  
                 
the courageous Trager
secretly clung to the belief...

  
                 
that life is not merely
a series of meaningless
accidents or coincidences.

  
                 
Uh-uh. But rather
it's a tapestry of events...

  
                 
that culminate in
an exquisite, sublime plan.

  
                 
Asked about the loss
of his dear friend, Dean Kansky,

  
                 
the Pulitzer Prize-winning
author and executive editor
of the New York Times,

  
                 
described Jonathan as a changed man
in the last days of his life.

  
                 
"Things were clearer for him, "
Kansky noted.

  
                 
Ultimately, Jonathan concluded
that if weare to live life
in harmony with the universe,

  
                 
we must all possess a powerful
faith in what the ancients
used to call "fatum,"

  
                 
- what we currently
refer to as destiny.
- Destiny.

All romantic comedies should include this

That's it. Say it, write it, smoke it out. I dont think there is anyone on this earth that thinks they are perfect. In fact I'm willing to bet most people think they are far from it. And maybe someone elses opinion may not define you, but its one of the most romantic things anyone can say. Most writers develop screenplays to include a line that no one has ever heard before, that will be said over and over in real life situations; one that defines an emotion. They dont need to. Just let your character say that, once. Make it count and make it sweet, because at a time when the majority of romance appears forced and trite, sometimes it would be nice to hear simplicity and heart; exactly what your feeling.

Sorry Miss Jackson, I am for real

The Stephen King book sucked anyway

I used to read blogs about how someone couldnt sleep and relate to them. I used to see in common how I would think of so many different things at night and ponder why the rest of the world doesnt join in on the insomniac bus.

Then it hit me. Because absolutely nothing happens when you do too much thinking. I can ponder all the time about how I want to work out and get a decent job and ascend my life , but unless I do any of this, then all my brain cells are being used for nothing. I am left with countless nights to keep fantasizing, and not enough time being happy with what I accomplished. So, unless im doing something, no more late nights. Yup you heard it here first.

speaking of which, time to try and go to sleep

DING! I just leveled!
YOU have gotten better at practicality! (22)

and my dork side prevails once again

Happy thanksgiving everyone.

Line of Sight

Into space we adventure
without regard for what's inbetween
only taking turns
losing our spot
narrow eyes and rain drenched hair
are tired of waiting
before looking up
gaze left or right
there will be something special
... in your line of sight

Here is a list of all the poems ive ever written since the blog has begun. it kinda suprised me.

Falling into Comprimise
Listening to each Guitar Riff
Like baby steps in a ballroom
We never know how to dance
Overcalculating equations never yet discovered
When sometimes all we need is indulgence
and some classics to remember
all is well and all has been done before

Strike a bargain with the masses
Do something sweet for an unsuspecting victim
Leaving them Speechless
Dont tell me I knew it all along
Because I'm the sinner, and You're the saint
like Untitled Anarchy
We built this out of Sand and Clay
Skip the need for valentine's day
Put an Asterick on your sweet lips

Lay with me on sweet november rain
watch the backround folk in subdued pity
sketching ourselves in earth's atmosphere
With no idea what we're drawing
and every impulse to sleep in each other's arms
Until the mistletoes of december
kissing softly near your ear

Come escape into nothingness
Where timely reflections catch us offguard
Happy and no room for dessert
We'll Pick up the pieces
From what was broken long ago

We'll speak from fork toungues
From a slippery past
To kisses that last
Remember when I worshipped your sillouette
In a state of no remorse
That was meant to stay the course
If only briefly
Lasting in our dreams

God's gave us wing's to stay in flight
With reason's numbered in spotted fights
avoided by a single flower on your doorstep
Lamented with a sweet dissonance
Coming within each other's arms
Maddening softness within your grasp
A neverending rapture; the eighth wonder
Incalculating prism's lighten the way
Your picture highlighting the reason's why
We can always escape into thin air

Learn your A,B,C's
Throw out the reason's and come to me
with no need for formal names
colorless love infailably mine
left but with one choice


Close the distance
Don't slander this with word's
Impulsive passion is the only currency
No need for imposters
Only one pair of sweet lips I can recognize
Come reflect onto me
let's plan out our demise

Consumer Limbo: The Tale of Christmas Shopping, Part 1

As most of you know, starting on November 27nth im going to be working at a bank doing a customer service ish job. Now, the downside of this is I wont get a full paycheck until the 21st of December. This leaves me little time to do my gift shopping, but a lot of time to figure out what the hell people want. This will be my archive of how I came to buy the gifts.


Friday, November 17nth.

A lot of time now to work with. I hear rumor's black friday is going to be huge in terms of sales. I hope the 'last minute' discounts are nearly as nice. The advertisments have started and thanksgiving isnt even here yet. I guess they want people prepared..or overly prepared. At any rate, last year due to my severe broke ass self, I was only able to really give people letters and/or random acts of kindness. Sure, it sounds sweet and all, but I need to compensate this year by opening up the wallet and giving giving giving!

Some places I'll probably shop

- FYE . Everyone loves music and movies
- Electronic's Boutique . Everyone loves discounted video games
- Spencer's Gifts . Everyone loves gag gifts
- (Insert Clothing Store here) . Everyone loves clothes

Now, my one problem with shopping is simple. You know how they say when your finished buying your gifts, you compensate by buying yourself a small one? My process usually goes in the opposite direction, of course since I never had a steady job money has been as rare as gold, so hopefully this time around I'll make the connection and put everyone else above my rising desire to play gears of war.

New Template

I've found a cheery template!

Pulled Apart.

Pretend
That I didnt hear
But It's your day to swim
Til Dawn
The moon graced and won my life
Further on, we came and saw
The big suprise ; your knife.

You were right about me
Crushed and never again
Onboard and right on to the end
Make your destiny
Fate wont include the lost

The scratches will heal
leave them alone
just dont go further on
thinking the world tilts back for you
each sound alive
my back still strains to feel your sweet knife

Quiet
I'm so upset about this
But never again
Assume that you failed
You were right
I'm a sucker for a scythe
Go ahead and reap
Into me so deep
It's sad to hope
and leave your shelter
the rain calls on and on
they found their girl
to cut with your sweet knife

Dont forget
I'm on the mend
fixing all threads from you
Is it in us now
to keep running circles
but I'll never strain
to hear what your sayin
numb is my brain
devoid of you stayin

Jesus Christ your beautiful
But your pullin me apart

Jesus Christ your beautiful
But your pullin me apart

Let Me Count the Ways

Oh let me count the ways
mmm I'll remember those hips like yesterday
and a neck like sweet chemistry
spill it like a beeker
I love it when you beg..

Oh let me shout the ways
against soft concrete
scratching my back like a cat
yeah baby, meow just like that
curve around me
show those teeth
bite me like I'm fresh meat

Vibrate to the bass
let the sweet sweat consume you
I love a damp treat
watching your hair drip
on my shoulder
take a trip down below
I'd love to adventure in reverse
just let me drive
it'll be a wild ride
just you and me

oh let me feel the ways
with your fingers of cocaine
inject me
I'd love a new addiction
I'll show you the meaning of friction
rubbing undiscovered skin
claimin treasure
and keepin the spoil's
like your soft back
pressed against me..

keep the light's on
I love to see you gape

Riff's

Pull the strings with meaning
get those lyrics straight
and hope she's listening
because your one six note praise
from getting her attention

would you sing in the rain?
a dampening melody for her enjoyment
cock back
and let that voice fly
your consonants travel for miles and miles
only to reach one person
dont worry
deaf ears wont let them fall

One day she'll be yours
whisper it at first
test the water's with
audacious string's
maybe they'll take
but its not just your hands
that could bring her to you
maybe some magic
blast the Ben Fold's
and before you get too old
throw down the guitar
learn how to play

embrace the cliche's
she likes fairy tales
and hospital drama's
hidden away
under lock and key
whisper the right words
and open sesame

it's not that hard
just hit the right key
and pray for rain

Let the petal's fall on their own
with a soft draping spectrum
caressing your curves
and massaging the nape of winter's neck
I freeze with thoughts of june

nerves follow your every step
with reminders of bits and pieces
that stopped to admire a lamented path
the chorus pauses and switches sets
come and dodge the obvious
I'll lead you to oblivion

Darkness cascades with potential
bare skin can do nothing but collide
to your heart I am gentle
but to your flesh I confide
with cell's and mollecules
dividing along with much contempt
the spirits trace your sketch
to a shape that belies perfection

giggling innocence
release your mortal sin
allow crude improvisions
for lustful reminding
that all roads
lead straight to you

let the wind's whisper
they know but sight and sound
an accurate tapestry they weave
and within raised stalks
lay's you and me
deceitly bare and warmed within ourselves
yes
let the wind's whisper
ignorant are our ear's
for unneeded senses
are discarded in the name of ..
touch
taste
to dull accordingly would revolt
only heightening can please
a focused minority

Left alone is cotton
and thrown aside is silk
for a softer entity lies
concealed below me

You

Following the lamented path
let the petal's fall where they will
fate cannot abandon ourselves so gently
when we hold on to adhesive thoughts
reckessly tossing our hearts in chaos
let soft moans escape your pout
springtime comes early
and there is no retreat

The dissonance of your spectral kiss
haunts my sleeping nights
like a swarming sphere of chaos
calm these aching thoughts
and fulfill what is
merely transluscent
Dissappear onto me
and remind my senses
what a lucid fantasy
is like

Aint it ?

I know
where you are
theres only fate drawing our map
but come towards the lightning
where theres grace on my face
and sparks of us fly about
like firelies on their last run
doused out when they've just begun

and aint it just like me to come around
reach up and catch you falling down
and aint it just like you to sound so sweet
when you walk away on your own two feet

I've let myself go
no more smoke and mirrors my dear
remember when you held me
while I cried and steered
It's always been rough
even your skin so smooth
my hands twice removed
I'd kill for another night
but I'm miles from where you are
just starin down on our bright star

and aint it just like me to come around
reach up and catch you falling down
and aint it just like you to sound so sweet
when you walk away on your own two feet

oh honey
I miss you
these metaphor's are gettin old
wait for a sign
just to be sure
even if I'm carrying it
on my own two knee's
oh baby please
wait for this
Everything's better aged
and this cant be staged
like feelin your soft hair
starin in the mirror
like I could forever stare

..


and aint it just like me to come around
reach up and catch you falling down
and aint it just like you to sound so sweet
when you walk away on your own two feet

and aint it just like me to come around
reach up and catch you fallin down
and aint it just like me to sound so sweet
when I walk away on my own two feet

It's Madness

Immediate release
It's all on the memo
Title, Subject; You

Sketching in words
trying to match them
to smooth lines of
skin and bone
like apprentices to
their visual master
I only succeed in
wanting to
but it's all on the memo
Title, Subject; You

Morning comes
and your not there
like apprentices to
their written master
what I remember
of how you smell
and how you feel
runs from the norm
turns to surreal
where I'm left
is a place never new
but I still have this memo
Title, Subject; You

There arent any straight lines
like the one riding down your spine
and the smooth crease
beneath my knee's
from when I asked you to stay
feels strangely comfortable

Take a moment of silence
mourn the loss of this
and bury the remains of that
I wasn't in that deep
And you wont lose any sleep
But I guess what they say is true
Because my heart feels a little smaller
And love still rhymes with you

I'll take the one with the spots ,er, I mean the blonde

If you really think about it, relationships are a lot like pupplies. Let's go over the steps.

First you have your basics. What kind of puppy do I want. A super cute energetic one that will demand to be taken out and spent time with consistantly, or a self reliant noble stallion of adorable fluff that can waste away hours without your attention.

Then you pick the stores to shop for it. Well if you pick the mall store you may get a puppy without her shots, or already with diseases, some of which might spread onto me. Maybe the puppies been constantly given attention, and wont respond as alert to me. Or maybe the puppy just chose to ignore you at the Blimpie when you bought her coffee, that ungrateful bit..er.wrong topic.

Anyway, you eventually decide you might want to hold off on getting a pet. Maybe you just dont have the money to support one right now, or you feel as it gets older it's demands will exceed your wallet by quite a large amount. Maybe you might want a cat, or antoher animal that could get your attention, or EVEN another dog. Who knows! My house isnt big enough for more than one dog. They might fight over me, or worse look for a new owner!

Overwhelmed, you give up.

Then. Your reading the paper, and you turn the page to that cute human interest stories section where some man single handedly cured the obesity problem in america with a comb and some grapes. The paper flashes to the picture of the cutest most adorable puppy you have ever seen. It all of a sudden fits every single qualification you put out for an animal, and maybe it's not the exact type you wanted, but you are overwhelmed by the wonder of how many tricks it can pull.

Your palm starts to sweat with excitement as you call up the seven digit number of awesome puppy goodness. Ring ring.. ring ring..
"Hello?"
"Hi, I'm interested in your ad in the paper"
"Oh good! how is 8 oclock for you?"
"Oh just fine thanks, I'l be there!"
"Great! Bring a leash!"

and several awkward hours later, where your not sure if you just actually had a conversation or talked in toungues, you find yourself with a puppy! It's actually lying at your feet! The day is satisfied. You have a pet, one to hug and squeeze and cherish with all the cutenes of the fluff brigade combined.

And then it begs you to walk it and you wish you were alone watching the game.

but so goes life!

New Template, Temporary ?

I needed a change to the site. Most of this template is okay for me but I think theres a little too much red on top. thoughts?

ever wonder?

I think I've discovered
It's not that people are so afraid
of letting only one person into their heart
its letting what's in their heart
onto that one person.

And maybe its not their own shadow
that some people try and avoid
It's the knowledge
of what fills in the black gap
between the outlines
of their own soul

Or for those afraid of
placing a ring on
their dainty finger
It's not worrying about what you will do
its regretting what you already did

While we're on this subject
I'd like to make a shout out
to those not so outspoken
because those people
would probably be the ones
to do the best shouting



and everyone needs to listen to The Luckiest, by Ben Fold's at least once a week. We'd all be better off that way.

An Encore Please

The world has turned and left me here
Just where I was before you appeared.
And in your place an empty space
Has filled the void behind my face.

I just made love with your sweet memory,
One thousand times in my head.
You said you loved it more than ever,
You said.

You remain, turned away.
Turning further everyday.

I talked for hours to your wallet photograph
And you just listened.
You laughed enchanted by my intellect
Or maybe you didn't.

he world has turned and left me here

Just where I was before you appeared.

And in your place an empty space

Has filled the void behind my face.


Do you believe what I sing now?

Do you believe...eeeve?

My favorite song

"The World has Turned and Left Me Here" by Weezer

Flunking Algebra

Brick Wall's cascading
shrewdly against a burning crescent
fiery by nature
snug hips hugged tightly
words do not
shapen
like a figure made of you
dressed in this impossible
collage of mollecules
Co2 and H2O
bending reality to encapsulate
something more

we spend lifetimes
figuring out simple patterns
anograms and puzzling anomalies
there lies an equation
rendering math obsolete
divide the obvious
and multiply by one

flash to the scene
act five
where petty dialogue
and concrete backrounds
exit's stage right
for what is left
science cannot explain
abandon common sense
divide the obvious
only you and I remain

Human Portrait

Sharp features
render description moot
within the lines
that defy your lovely jawline
I submit
my audit
biased like yesterdays news
and made to tailor
just me
and just you

neurons spike
flying at high speed
through channels not yet discovered
they bargain with nerves
devishly sexy deals
that involve you smiling
just the way I like
which is
any way you smile

the wall encircles you
as a figure slumps on the ground
flecks of grace clump up
like knee's on unleaven bread
I see encompassed jewels
staring back
at worn fabric
used furniture
and a burned out heart
we'd negotiate
but priceless is on the rise
and your eyes
are my demise

The Window

Let's stare
starkly out the window
at those less fortunate
that stir emotionless devices
and mark their contempt with snide grins
dont let them see you
the revolution is early
and we're safe in each other's arms

Walk inbetween the lines
let the concrete cushion against insignificance
betray the norm and lose your innocence
gaze without eye contact
and hold my hand
the only committment
I feel secure with

Maybe tonight we'll sit outside
letting the wind carry the masses
to hear our opinionated glances
I'd love to debate
with you at my side
and my liberal banter
making up for the lost time
where I was lost
The night is young
please grab my hand
and stare out the window with me?

When was the last time I talked here?

You need milk with a peanut butter sandwhich. I dont care if your lactose intolerant, drink it with soy milk. If your soytose intolerant, then become a real person. Have you ever tried to get rid of the sticky feeling in your mouth with anythin else? Water just makes it taste horrible. Juice isnt the right consistancy. When I was younger I hit up the soy milk due to allergies, and I have to say after a while you dont even remember what regular milk tasted like. Of course when I went back in my mid teens, the taste was recalled and missed, but the point is the substitution isnt that bad.

I need new music. I'm still listening to my latest batch of newly found artists, but I need something totally different. Your friendly neighborhood Simonman is out of inspirado. My latest poems, at least in my opinion havent been nearly as good as the previous, and I'm just feeling bleh. I'm not sure what I need. All I know is I miss the days when I could churn out two-three pieces of writing in a couple of hours, now its hard to put out a stanza.

My crusade against video games is going eh. My desire to go back to WoW is collapsing, and I really dont miss ten hour days at the computer. It's just one of those things that when your involved, you dont think you could ever quit, and then once you do, the lightbulb goes on and you realize how much of a waste of time it is.
I've been playing Halo more, as well as a couple Strategy games on the side. Overall it equals out to much less time distracted, which makes me realize how much I need to turn this S-train around.

Uconn feels like home when im there. I think this is one of the only instances where I feel more comfortable at someone ELSES college than my own. Being as this is the last year, I should start to get to know those in my own school.

Lately my sleep has been plagued. I have very odd dreams, and waking up every couple
of hours is NOT hot. What add's to this is the uncomfortable feeling when I do wake up. It's like I'm re-experiencing consciousness for the first time, and have to re-aclement myself with my surroundings. Somehow this doesnt happen when I sleep downstairs, or soemwhere else, only my bed. I think I need to finally get sleep without the seroquel. I think after this entry im going to go look online and find a guide on how to get off it.

Conversion Method

I listened to an album while writing this,coming up with idea's after listening to different tracks. 50 bonus points to whomever can figure out the album.



like a bloody nightmare
you make me sweat
in a finished oak bed
thoughts uncontrolled
passionate chaos fills
from head to toe
and i'm left sitting up
with sheets of false security
wondering if somehow
they'll protect me from you

My waking life consists
of watching your mouth give up
relenting to spastic compliments
and prescribing heart flutter
as wreck of the day
I soak choice words up
like a sponge on a killing spree
only slow going
when you ask me to go slow

The anesthetic is fading
give me something new
or cover up the old
with sexy lingerie
or whatever else hides
unmistakable blemishes
and other choice reasons
why we keep the lights off

Oh you just want attention
willing to gaze
like headlights at scared deer
go ahead
stare me down
theres an accident waiting to happen
or happening to wait
whichever makes you sleep better
dont worry about me
I prefer this lust filled nightmare
because frankly
if i had to choose
I always loved
you making me sweat

How Come

Theres things you dont know
little suprises
cagey reflexes and other
untimely demises
but when push comes to shove
we're all super man
just trying to
convince everyone else
that Clark Kent
is a really cool guy
and worth a second glance


-----------------------------

Spin the wheel raggedy man
because I smell a sequel
just listen to the cliche's
being pounded in your head
like Eigon with a death ray
but there aint no ghostbustin
and this isnt the march of dimes
charity is a rarity
and you're out of time

At least he's straight forward????

New Entry, and an update

A word of advice to anyone who gets their poems to the editing process

It sucks. The most important advice I can give is keep your work short, because any unnecessary line is taken out. Space is too much of a factor. The downside is because I know this I think the stuff ive written lately has been suffering.

Intimate

Would you believe
I am insecure
About most anything

There is a fine line
Between indecision and revision
Knowing yes and shaking no
And this brilliant design has
Stabled life and kept me stable
But now
There is you
And I’m willing to be intimate
If your willing to just be

I keep walking away
Just to come back with bite
You probably don’t notice
Our seasonal goodbyes
Because I don’t think
Deep Down
You ever said hello

My intimate puzzle
Is wearing out
And the answer is at hand,
But I’m not ready to relinquish
Nor submit to such trivial
Pleasantries like truth
It just gets in the way
Of heart driven crusades
And smile relished Renaissances

I apologize in advance
For my scrupled wit
Doesn’t make well for hesitance
And when I see you
When hazel desires meet azure dreams
Our lips might lock on sheer will
I might resign
But I’m willing to be intimate
If your willing to just be.

You know you drank too much when

- You are still hungover 9:00 pm the next day
- You cant find your cell
- You have pizza crusts on your floor (I didnt have pizza)
- I blacked out at my computer, and while doing so posted the previous entry and write a one stanza poem I found, i'd like to share it for the artistic genius

"I wonder if cherry is very merry
very merry is cherry
and quite contrary her blog did grow
cuz im drunk and i like snow"

- I cant find my shoes
- I IMed 7 people

Yep. Back to water for a while.

Almost 5,000 hits!

The site has almost had 5,000 hits and the poetry site half that much. Thanks to all who check it regularly or semi regularly ;) god knows my posting hasnt been consistant.

I hope its been entertaining for everyone. Well actually if it hasnt then fuck off but im pretty sure it has :P

In a few days my portfolio gets sent in and im terribly terribly nervous. Ive had enough positive feedback about my writing to make me feel better but theres always a shred of doubt.

Question of the evening.

A person's drive to want something is what keeps them going; alive. Those who say they are content are either lying or have a secret desire they are unwilling to speak of.

That said

What do you want? Really want?

Dont know what to call this =/

Come sweet love
let us flow within thy candied whispers
kiss the stowaways and stowaway the masses
and elevate ourselves beyond simple physical attraction

your words pierce my soul with desire
as we dance ontop a grave of fear
let sin atrophy and scrape to segmented pavement
where ten toes and infinite melodies
guide our divine grace

oh come my sweet love
before logic's control acosts us so
and we are driven back to horrible cells of reason
locked up and thrown away with keys of peversion and
infected thoughts consume our essence
leaving us with nothing more
than what seems right

we must stand up and
like Gershwin and Mozart before us
give in to sweet rapture
rise with crescendo
as blood rushes to envelop our nerves
let every touch start a revolution!
raw passion is the new currency
our hands invade dorment skin
our licks protest against idle nerves
we shall declare ourselves free
and free ourselves within each other

The dawn will guide a new light
one without ordinary gazes
where curiousity is not without drive!
I will relish you
and you will memorize me
like camera's refurbished and rejuvenated
my eyes take snapshots
perfect transparencies with opaque beauty
so we will remember what was done
and what will not be lost

oh to our embrace
when perfection belies conformity
and legs bounce with a treasured youth
recently let go and told to command
my every move and singular bound
to you
we take our time
like time was meant to be taken
shove off the hourglass
newly replaced with eternity
and eternally bestowed with
immeasurable worth

seconds counting as pleasing gapes of volume
and hours defined only by conjoined breath
twilight spotlighting our days
and sunlight canvassing our nights
destroying convention
within

oh come my love
we will walk along painted shorelines
remembering when longevity was upon us
crying about with reckless abandon

a fire will be built
and our ageless bodies will sit beside
remminiscing of shameless days
with your laughter sweetening
and smile intoxicating
I'd spring up
and with renewal ask for your hand
as five familiar fingers
curl around my own
and we'd begin to prance

oh come thy love
introduce yourself
and accept this dance

Colorblind

Just feel like writing something nice


light hair
searing translucent wonders
assaults my backround
like an invasion of the senses
forcing me to look
at something I cant have

but like an exhibit
I gaze on
with abated eyes
visiting hours are over
but I snuck in
for only a peak
maybe the guards will catch me
but I wont be outdone
for I am colorblind
and you are the sun

Distancia

Theres an ocean
and then some land
maybe a hill
a house
and several cars

Then theres a door
most likely closed
wooden hinges
unfailing to recognize
ethereal hands
trying to open from within

Inside might be carpet
with furtniture tucked inside
a couch, a chair, a bed
details are not important
they are as blind to me
as I am to them

We walk upstairs
up several flights
immune to the cold touch
of natural oak
perhaps a couple rooms
split my destination in half
but the occupants ignore me
for I am here
and they are there

I find the room
to peer inside

matted is your hair
lying flatly on a soft mattress
fit for a queen
for for just you

and then we have a perfect smile
permenantly attached to peach skin
small ears that convey curiousity
a nose that belies dainty
and pure beauty relishing
in its own creation

all while I stare
vacantly
from above

All that could have stopped me
and all that did ignore
the only thing that succeeded
was staring at you
mi amore

when the distance fades
when sharp oak has reason to subside

when houses
with picket fences
dont fill the gap
betwen our arms

when water and soil
cant argue spiritual gain
and wood and sulfur can only refrain

when the only thing stopping us
is what lies from afar
I still think I'd pursue you
from an ever falling star

On another note

As if my blog wasnt bi-polar enough

I just watched a google video of a dog riding a skatboard, and I was terribly amused. Then I saw paris hilton attempting to make music, and I was also amused. I think watching one video every night is enough to be entertained. I'll never run out of video's , and itll save me the time of searching through them one by one.

I dont know how to spell my favorite pie :(
I dont know how to ride a bike
Ive never lasted very long on a rollercoaster
I cant whistle
and I running in circles gets me dizzy for six hours abouts

theres my obvious flaws. Enjoy.

Walk

I think theres a difference between your first crush and your first real crush. Maybe it was just for me. I think no one actually pursues the first girl they think is 'neato', maybe its supposed to be that way.

My first crush was in third grade. I think it was then I realized how beautiful a girl's face could be. Earlier in life you see them as just really fragile people you cant play with as rough as your guy friends, but you pretty much have no desire to be near them anyway. I couldnt tell you why I liked her, not now anyway. I think it was purely for physical purposes, as physical as you can be when your 10. She had a few freckles on the back of her neck, I used to trace them with my eyes all the time. I thought it made her different, and I liked it. I remember in fifth grade she told me she liked me, and I made the age old mistake of telling a couple kids on the bus, the next day they told everyone and that brief 24 hour 'relationship' was over. I was about four inches shorter than her too so I think that might have had something to do with it. But I'll always remember tracing those freckles. I wonder if she remembers anything about me.

My first real crush was in sixth grade. It was ongoing, really. One of those things that gain momentum with time until their so large you dont know what to do but imagine all the possibilities, until you realize the window for all of them has passed. I always think about this girl as my lesson in life I never quite learned; to be more open and not to hesitate speaking your mind. She had short dark hair, down to her neck, that always seemed to be straight no matter the time of day. Large eyes that beamed with life, even when she was obviously tired they still sparkled. Dont worry, I didnt go out of my way to stare at this girl, but in three of my classes she sat directly across from me. Maybe thats when the crush started, maybe not. She had the softest voice and always came across as very smart. I bet whatever she's doing right now, she's doing well. I'm not going to go into detail on how this ended, but lets just say I had a very clear opportunity and literally watched it sail on by. And im not talking about 'there was this second when our eyes met and I knew I could have said something" no, this was laid very clear out in front of me, was asked to be had, and I ignored it. Maybe god hit the pause button on his Ti-Vo and went to go find some beer, only never to press resume. All I know is for the rest of middle and high school I could not speak a single word to her. I think it was out of embaressment, or maybe because I was socially inept at the time. I dont know. I always had something to say. Some days she looked ravishing, others she looked like she could use a friend, some she was sad, others just showed how smart she was. I think that for the longest time she really was the most beautiful girl I ever laid eyes on. People just say that sometimes when they are trying to exxagerate someone or something, but im dead serious. Ive always been a face guy. To be fair I'm also a fan of asses, but I didnt notice them for quite a few years after my fondness for eyes developed. I wish there was some way for me to explain it, but no english degree, none of my poems combined, and nothing I could ever say would ever match the way she deserves to be described. Maybe its just me, and maybe to other people she's just another girl, but then again she's my first real crush, and no one elses.

I'm talking about this because ive never shared it before, and because I didnt see the point. But I think everyone should sit there and think about the first time you really looked at a person and saw nothing but good in them. It rarely happens. Usually in high school you start to get dicked over, or feel like you are, and your perception of people and situations changes. You realize with the good comes the bad, and no ones perfect, but their flaws make them beautiful. I agree, but theres always the one. Maybe when we're that young no one is flawed, or maybe I just didnt care. But in my eyes, she'll always be the Hope Diamond. Perfect in every way, but stored under lock and key in some foreign country where you cant speak the language let alone be able to find it. And if you do, theres about a thousand other people trying to get to its flawlessnes. Some wanting to put a dent in perfection, others to hold onto it because they have nothing better do to with their lives, and then theres those that view it from afar. I think I fall into the latter, because I dont know if I'd even know what to do with an opportunity again. She's both my kryptonite and my salvation. I think its this situation that made me be a romantic, because I never wanted to go a moment without being able to express my feelings. I had a wall blocking my emotions, and then I opened the floodgates, fully open to everything until recently. I've learned better, at least from everyone else.

I'm still very young, and theres a lot of life left to live. I'm probably going to write some poem tonight, and then another next week, and then several more over the course of this year about the beauty I see all around, either in someone or something, or a future relationship. I'll grow older, and everything that happened when I was 12 and 13 will seem like some fading memory that will eventually disappear. It's an inevitable that one day a bigger diamond will be found that replaces the Hope Diamond, and some museum will bury it in the basement, to collect dust and be forgotten. But the thing is that no matter how big the gems get, or even if you own thousands, you will always cherish the one out of reach. You never got to have it, and you never will. Maybe for the best. Upon further inspection, if even from under a microscope, they're always flaws present in something. Spend enough time and you can always find errors in even the most fool proof of inventions. But, somehow you know that isnt the case. You cant prove it, but you have an inkling in the pit of your stomache to the tips of your toes that this one fascination is truly unique. You might even have to put on special rose colored glasses made just for you to be aware of it. But its true. To be known only in greek tragedies and heartbroken laments, and to be told to no one. I remember in twelfth grade one day she asked me the time in the hallway and I stuttered for ten seconds before she walked inside the room. I think that was the last time I had an audible conversation with her that lasted any duration.

I knew what time it was. I'd like to tell her, it was eleven fifteen, she's beautiful, and they were serving chicken patties with french fries. That kind of information is useful, you know. Us wallflowers know it by heart. and us hearts love a tragedy, no matter how close to home it is.

Moonlight Sonata

I write about your eyes
everything else
is just a lovely daydream
and with the sand so soft
and the moon so bright
oh wont you join me
for one dance tonight

cup my hand
and give a gentle squeeze
your arms around my neck
sending soft shivers
everywhere with feeling
six minutes and six seconds
an eternity to sway so slow
chello's and violins dictate our pace
and our feet move patiently
while my heart begins to race
and with the sand so soft
and the moon so bright
im so glad your joining me
for this one dance tonight

our heads collide
locked in lips
and forgoing lust
I gently kiss you
like silk to skin
legs still moving
and those arms around my neck
massaging into pure bliss
the gentle pause
between a giggling smile
while time is null
and my knee's stumble
as your face
beautiful
like crystal's to sweet lace
stares back so peaceful
like your in your favorite place
and our lips lock again
for maybe the last time
I tell myself once again
that you were once mine

moving again
chords slow to a crawl
I hear flutes play their last notes
and trumpets gently fade
When the music ends
I know you'll be gone
like our imprint in the sand
or the way you heard that song
yet in my inner thoughts
underneath the most secluded tree
lies just one memory
of just you
and just me
so if you catch me gazing
with gem encrusted eyes
you know what im seeing
an encore without goodbyes
because with the sand that soft
and the moon that bright
I'll always remember you joined me
for that one dance tonight

I wish I was better at

Among other things, writing about nothing. I guess I envy those who can take situations no one would think twice of, and write a beautiful diotribe on it. Granted, the process im in no with creating poetry from strangers is one thing, but what about talking about it. Like im the massive editor of a magazine and every photo clip of my life was worth a thousand pages.

Or maybe I just need to relax and enjoy shit instead of worrying about how many pages every experience will churn up.

I think im just tired.

When im rome

(this isnt towards anyone im just in one of those moods where id like to try something new : a cynical poem!, let me know what you think)


You beg for something real
I offer reality
in a mixed bag of fun
the grass would be greener
but your ego blocks the sun

Your out of touch
and out of time
I quote 80's songs
because originality
is something you leech
running my patience thin

I hope you realize
that beauty runs farther
than rose makeup and candy lips
I desire just one kiss
but instead I find bitter
you were a muse
whose well ran dry

Just wait
until the image sharpens
and you find
all that you wanted
was right here waiting for you
again not original
but to the point
like the dagger
you once used
or your warm breathe
that so many boys
with their cars and toys
have bathed in
like sweet sin

Maybe once you considered
giving me a chance
I'm not the lottery
one dollar attempts
and loose change collected
Won't earn my intention
from one now infected
vain regards
turn a heart to shards
like glass
you should look in more often
to see who you really are.
far from a once shining star.

Emo songs
and punk ballads
describe you so well
sing along in ignorance
melancholy blisters
and venomous whispers
light you up in shame
play along
to this song
like its all a game

I think to continue
filling up verbs
with malicious intent
are a waste of time
because in the end
my callous friend
your just a fish in the sea


save up that change
maybe you'll win
with that sweet sin
and the grass will start to grow
large ego and all
but in my eyes
those candy lips
and those curvy hips
paint a portrait of bitter shame
I guess you'll ignore me
while I rant and dare to defy
but your just a chance taking girl
and im just the smarter guy.


(wow. I dont think I could write like this all the time haha)

Numbers

One plus one
equals two
two misses one
but one can get by
so two skips on
onto three

two likes three
but three's a crowd
so two moves on
missing one and three
skipping along
until two meets four

four scares two
two is not ready for that many
but already given up one and three
four asks two for some time
two and four fall in love
but two feels something is missing
it thinks about one and three
and decides to keep going
four wont forget two
and goes to join the others
while two misses four
and skips along
until it meets number five

number five isnt suprised
and greets two with much pride
but curiousity met five
and he asked two
'what happened to four and three
two didnt have an answer
and thought about what came of one
it begins to ask
why it kept skipping
past one and three
and why four was so sore
five reminded two
I was still in love with you
and two skipped no more

~ Wine" (not finished)

A smile worth
dozens of roses
One for every time
ive ever wanted to kiss
coated in cabernet
those lips
those lips I quickly miss

should I tell a single soul
these are for you
Indigo outlines your smile
and Fuscia tickles your toes
moonlight drives my thoughts
and sunlight
sunlight breaks the mold

Starving are the days
without your words to eat
I'm sure in another language
you could decieve my ears
And yet in aother
send my skin shivering
pleasure down my spine
like the wine you love to drink
a beautiful lush
ive come to adore
Come circa dare questo una prova, mi amore

Confessions of a saint
Desires of a sinner
I ponder thoughts
not unlike your own
licks and caresses
removal of draping dresses
whispers pillaged

Like snowflakes falling
you tease and tickle
giggling air
up and down my skin

Ontop of tree's
I leap onto fleeing leaves
leaving not fleeing from you and me
while you discover what once was
isnt much like what could
and what should
what can
what will

Sketch outlines
a great imagination at work
and in my mind
we're always kissing
but sometimes
inbetween your sentences
written like sweet poetry
I have to realize
only comprimises
that blush stained lips
that I yearn to rub and kiss
wait for coming months
when the sun breaks its mold
and the moon does what its told
only then
will snowflakes fall again
on love parched skin
let the blizzard consume
legs intertwined
and let us kiss forever
I'd love to taste red wine

(eh its 4 am . could use some work but im happy with it)

Choice

Tell them
Inbetween
Your rants and raves
Please tell them
I see it in your eyes
But you choose to deny

I think you mean to
when asked
Theres a flutter in your eyes
and I know you want to
the slight hesitance
Dancing inbetween
Saying yes or no
Tell them
Please tell them

You sit ontop wooden stairs
painting them a new look
staring at your hand
reacing at the crowd
I think you wanted to
because that smile reached my eyes
I know you could have
all I got is time
Tell them
Please tell them

You mix bad drinks
has anyone told you that?
I tell bad stories
lets share our imperfections
I wouldnt mind
exchanging
exchanges
between you and me
just tell them
so they can all see
just tell them
just tell them please

I'd want more
to transpire
a coverup not necessary
but the thing is
its all in my head
and your not real
just let me call you
a seven digit reprieve
maybe then you can tell them
just tell them please

Brief Intermission

In my writing to post where I list how people came to my site, heres the top 5

	10 Jun	03:40:55	www.google.com	gilbert godfreed	http://openshutter.net/mike/2006/01/i-feel-like-being-incredibly-sarcastic.html
	7 Jun	19:04:00	search.msn.com	we were kids, i was a fountain, you could never drink enough lyrics	http://openshutter.net/mike/2006/02/part-2-idiots-savant-syndrome.html
	4 Jun	19:03:28	www.google.de	sextrack-free	http://openshutter.net/mike/2006/01/awwwwwwwwwww.html
	4 Jun	19:03:19	www.google.de	sextrack-free	http://openshutter.net/mike/2005/10/this-wouldnt-be-simon-blog-if.html
	2 Jun	00:00:03	search.yahoo.com	chinese blowjob	http://openshutter.net/mike/

As you can see, I still attract the blowjob lovers!

(untitled)

~ Dream ~

Where do you lie?
in the ocean
or the sweeping sand
When was the last time
someone graced
those silky hands

When have you been touched
on your soft rosy cheeks
Did you know that your hair
fulfills what I seek?

When will you whisper
what I want to hear?
From an accent which teaches
words I hold dear

Down under we go
In the canopy
I wish to kiss you
like petals to a flower

Blonde hints at Brown
Twisting round and round
inbetween a potent mixture
lies your face
poets dare to place

Letting you know
the way I feel
besieged by hesitation
in a no rules battlefield

Timing is everything
I better not rush
inwardly I tame
A two syllabal name
from escaping my lips
or grabbing you close
to steal a dired kiss

Our eyes exchange
on the same plane
your shoulders inviting
instigating me insane

I dont know if I'd recite this
Because I think
staying the same
is better
than nothing at all

But in case you read this
and you know who you are
drop me a hint
like a falling star
because we all know
when the moon begins to shine
that if a twinkle grants me wishes
you'd soon be mine

Midnight (also not finished)

In the center of an unpacked closet
inbetween leather coats and stylin hats
lies two individuals
names are not important
neither is light
for the name of the game is fun
and the clock
just struck midnight

his hands scout pitch black pockets
while her sweat glistens raging sonnets
gaping holes render their eyes useless
the sense of touch is king
and taste is but a pawn
for the name of the game is fun
and its only midnight
we've only just begun

her body shivers, draped with fear
and canvassed with delight
his hands approach
slowly without hesistance
breathe escapes
mollecules of oxygen bouncing
atoms of hydrogen giggling
they bounce inbetween where
reservations and excuses would have been
recently killed by the silence of sight
but here darkness runs the show
for the clock
just struck midnight

he inhales parched perfume
as his hands find skin
gently glistening and afraid
goosebumps meet eager flesh
she exhales her last breathe
and inhales something entirely different
exhuberance...lack of encumberance
its hard to name or define
such a feeling rarely encurred
the rush of ghosts within each inch
of a gap slowly closing
cotton is but an endangered species
for the name of the game is fun
and its far past midnight
12:01.

toungues empowered with taste
meet and greet in quick fashion
eye sockets vacantly closing
under flittering lids
wanting to roll back
and accept defeat
each nerve electrifyed
yearning to feel
droplets fall
onto an invisible platform
meant to host
two thundering beasts
her skin reverbs
breathe panting
so much faster
his fingers juggle
around bare skin
imperfections rendered moot
finding themselves
grasping seamless ecstacy
dont you wish you were there?
might be too late for you
for the name of the game is fun
and its 12:02.

Her neck pounds
underneath suckling
soft amber skin
melts upon his own
her fingernails pardoned
now scrape onto
shoulders extending
pain and pleasure
such a fine line
disappearing with stretched skin
she whispers infidelities
as vowels and verbs escape
into thick musty air
she cries out
words of pleasing soily dispair
all forms of proper
now turned to lust
dont you wish that was you and me?
never too late darlin
only 12:03

her hair now flowing
colorless strands turned loose
mixing with his own
saliva running rampant
down her gleaming neck
invisible to their eyes
once two masquerading
reduced to one force
invading
powerless to resist
fingerprints needing to spread
along now bare invitations
heading south for the summer heat
her head snaps back
she awaits so much more
already getting sweaty?
I think I hear 12:04

Just Once (Round 2, slightly better)

satin sheets
softly cover
legs intertwined
as I beg the sun
to take that much longer
and the moon
to circle
just once more

The blinds leak contempt
as my hands cup your face
and pretend
that for each minute
of every day
they match the same print
around your soft cheeks
and I know exactly
that each freckle
on your skin
matches my own

Only a couple hours remain
But this is our morning
May we persist
If by chance
Our lips lock
just once more
May I memorize
how sweet they taste
and those freckles
will always resemble
my favorite constellation
The one I saw once
Just once

you stir gently
as your legs wrap
even closer
and I plead
maybe everything else
has been a dream
maybe what im feeling now
has always been
and always will
My fingers caress your hair
gently put the strands back in place
to when I met you
just hours ago

Before you wake
I toss and turn
to hold you close
tired eyes blink
as I watch you wake
auburn lips
curve into a slight smile
your hand touches me
with lovely audacity
and ten fingers
caress my chin


Just once
I think I had you
as time moves on
and the memory turns dim
like the morning
I saw
my favorite constellation
etched on creamy skin
dissappear

To say I loved
Just once
keeping to myself
holding my toungue
like I held you
I'd utter your name
but all goes moot
except your face

All that I knew.

Ugh the ending is so coldplay =/

I whisper
and you listen
to every word
that utters out
of parched lips
that no matter how dry
you still love to kiss

I stumble
out of sharp corners
that catch me offguard
and no matter how hard
I might fall
your hand
always reaches out
to cradle my own

My eyes tear
from such fustration
that comes my way
but your pupils
always reflect
onto mine
calming me
when I need it most

My ears ache
from discouraging thoughts
and off colored remarks
then you whisper
and I listen
while your moist lips
reassure me
and soothe my parched
counterparts

My knees bend
when you walk beside
and I want to fall
but you catch me
to light up the room
Please promise me
that through dire straights
and metaphoric weights
no matter how far
or who you are
I'll meet you soon

Because no matter how far
or who you are
one day
ill meet you soon

Reviews and ponderings

Okay.

X-men = C

I say C because it really did not perform under or over what I expected. There were some cool fight scenes, and the phoenix is pretty awesome. Kitty Pryde is cute and as usual Wolverine destroyed everything in sight. That said, the story was horrible, it had no tie-in to the comic books, and the secret ending is really just opening up more possibilities for a sequel, which goes against the 'Last stand' doesnt it? And god kill the director for including
"I'm the juggernaut, Bitch"

Thanks! Maybe next time you can have Storm collect wellfare checks and make it even more stereotypical.

Over the Hedge = B-

The entire soundtrack was done by Ben Folds. Need I say more. Not as good as the original ice age, but probably my second favorite non pixar CG film. Enjoy the squirrel.

Da Vinci Code = B
Pretty good movie. Followed the novel extremely close. The only reason it didnt get an A is I could never take a religion coverup that seriously, and I find it really funny the amount of bad publicity this film is recieving. Heres a clue, your not going to hell if you see this movie. If anything you'll go to 7-11 afterwards because its a pretty long picture. Audrea Tatou is extremely cute in the movie as well, another big plus.

Ding, 22.

So yesterday was my birthday. Spent it the only way I knew how. Being a nerd and drinking a ton. Basically, my day can be summed up like this


Woke up at 2 : Drank
Ate lunch at 2:30 : Drank some more
Went out at 6 : Bought drinks
Hung out until 11: Drinks galore
Screened Da Vinci Code/Over the hedge: Yup, drinking


Finally stumbled out of the theatre about twenty minutes ago. Btw. For those wondering, the movie was an almost exact port from the book. The book was better, but not by much. And Over the Hedge had an exclusive soundtrack from none other than Ben Fold's. That pretty much made that movie worth watching.


Anyhoo, I wish everyone well.

31 hours of insanity

Thats how long I was up for yesterday. As said below, I finished the Da Vinci code overnight, and then I went to go take a final. While I was taking said final, I found out I have to provide proof that I was going through anxiety problems and went through several weeks of inconsistant attendence. Fine. So I go home. And im about to take a nap when I get a phone call

"hey, want to help move a TV?"

So, I head down to help move TV. (this is at 10:30?) then I head down to Milford to buy a new TV that was smaller. We go down to milford (near passing out at this point), then we look at TV's for about an hour before deciding they didnt have the one his dad wanted. So we drove down to , actually I dont remember where we drove to next because I was delirious. Wherever it is, we get there, and we find out the TV he wanted is discontinued and on rain check, but if they call everyone who put a rain check on it, and they dont want it, its his. So we're waiting, and all of a sudden he see's another TV (which is the same size as the original one we returned), but because its a little sleeker, we pick that up. Then we take care of a couple other things, and head back to the house to set up the new TV.

Now its about 5. On the way back we stopped at my friends father's restaurant, and I made the mistake of having an expresso made for me. Yeaah. I dont know what wind I was on now, second,third, or fifth, but I was now wired. We set up the TV, and I proceeded to play the new Mario Bros. game on DS and watch Home Movies. At one point when commenting about the game, the first thing I shouted was "I like touching thingS!". anyway. I was going along fine when all of a sudden the screen started to blur. I couldnt make out any details. I take this as a sign to stop, and I inch towards the bed. I say one or two things to my friend which I dont remember at all. And I pass out. I wake up to macaroni and cheese. and then I fall asleep again.

commence 12 hours of sleeping.

Moral of the story?
I kinda liked it.

Reading a book like you would watch a movie is actually very interesting because it gives puts your imagination on overdrive and lets you interpret an entire picture exactly the way you want to see it. I'm sure this wouldnt work for some novels, but for the Da Vinci Code, it was utterly perfect. Now I just need to watch the movie and see how close I came to what the director invisioned.

Another thing too. I'm not saying do this all the time because it pretty much eliminates the ability to do anything straining, but every once in a while disrupting your sleep pattern is pretty nifty. you start thinking differently, pondering and wondering about different things, and after a while I didnt have a care in the world.

I think once every couple of weeks I will read a book in similar style, then see how long I can just stay up and what kind of thoughts I get. Eh, its worth trying.

And I'm finished.

Do I win a medal?
Eight hours. not too shabby.

and I start the Da Vinci code..

Now.

Truce

We've struck a truce
You and me
Written in soul
and buried
in used soil
previously kept for those
unwilling to comprimise.

Held within
lies such a simple truth
I enjoy you
and you enjoy me
without terms to settle for
or reason to stop

complications create
stipulations innate
and regulations that bind
two bound souls to unwind

Oh to walk on lava
no matter which way you yearn
a never ending struggle
the final result is to burn

Complications rended onto thee
branded into marks for you to see
a heart, a rose, and a strand
when your hair flowed in my hand
I remember smelling fruit yet discovered
and then your smile;
the eighth wonder uncovered
If only I could forget
that time we had just met
and I asked you to walk with me
Can I plead you to refuse;
It's easier to forget than this ruse,
that you want me.

Such is that weve gone our separate way
The truce broken, never again to stay
I think I miss you
because I dream about your hips
and I think I'd kiss you
because I yearn to touch those lips
I think I'd want to try
to sit and theorize
a way to comprimise
body and soul
before my feelings are assassinated
on the smooth grassy gnoll

So when rain drips
gently on your skin
and the rivers flow
Raising spirits within
I tell these truth's
but with one to withhold
Painted on the canvis
but not to break the mold

I'd whisper in shadow
I miss you
To pray you could hear
but lost in darkness
I need you
with nothing to grip and steer
in the abyss
I want you
to fall on near blind eyes
and in the void
I love you
as we learn to say goodbye

I've been noticing a trend..

In my blog. Rants arent as well recieved as short, concise, intelligent statements.

That being said.

Anyone else read books?

Links you have to live by

http://www.thankyoustephencolbert.org - up to about 55k worth of people who thanked him for ripping the press and the president a new one.

http://www.seeloosechange.com - Worth watching, and worth thinking about. Seriously, it makes you wonder a lot about the events this country has gone through the last three or so years. Note : Contrary to popular opinion you are not automatically committing treason for questioning the government.

I really try not to throw politics very often into this blog. Sure I have my moments, like my rant a couple of months ago, but more often than not its more or less preaching the values of ordering fifty dollar's worth of chinese food.

That being said. I have a couple of gripes that must be shared.

- It really angers me when I witness people jumping from one relationship to the next. Can you really not be alone for a nanosecond? I think it annoys me because there is no way you can love someone nearly as much as some people say and then retract every ounce of those feelings to place on someone else. I see both girls and guys do this, so there is no innocent corner here.

- If anyones been watching any news station or conservative blog, you'll quickly catch that all of their collective souls are being put into convincing themselves that Stephen Colbert is not funny. I think its time they accepted A) he is funny, and B) they are at fault. what are they at fault for? Not being reporters, but more like a massive PR reel for the president. If your going to be a conservative, thats fine. I dont care what side of the spectrum you want to be on. But you shouldnt form your opinion based on your stance. You need to question what is happening around you. That, and if you think Stephen Colbert isnt funny? Then your lying to yourself.

One more thing too, Celebrity Feud's arent Feud's. They are PR stunts that apparently work because we have entire TV shows devoted to them. Ugh. Anyone got a time machine?

Reason why Life's gonna rock on June 20th

Because this is who I'll be seeing!

Wish me luck!!

Submitted 27 of my poems to a publisher =/

'gulp'

Slam attempt numba 5!

So a couple of days ago It was suggested by someone I give another attempt at Slam poetry. well here we go!

Standing
ontop of the world
Looking down
onto you
you and your sweet...
oh your sweet.
And you make me feel like dancing!
But the nights gone away..
Whats a man to do.
Lonely
Distracted so easily
oooh whats ..oh what was I saying
ah yes, you
We smile politely like
the cultured people we are
Ignoring the screaming inside
My brain dances while my heart endures
I went wrong somewhere? who knows
I dont.
Do you?
You and your sweet...
Oh your sweet.

I need some good savin
My arms retracted
Reaching for you
Oh I want to yell
Stand up ontop of a mountain
which is ..ironically
closer than you are.
When did this happen?
Some would call me retarded
Label my feelings with terrett's
But you know suga'
We're goin down swingin
like a sixteen week number 1
you'll be up top in May
But back below earth in July
I guess thats what happens
When I try to get you to fly.

Oh there I go rhymin again
A love sick doctor seus
Maybe the grinch stole christmas
but he should have included you
It would be a lot easier
when the wall im cryin out to
begging to see me
doesnt have a face
nor a place
And I can blame a cartoon character
not a real person
for making me feel so incomplete.

I highdive right into the abyss!
Judges give a ten
and turn their heads in disgust
stubborn is my middle name
Everywhere I turn
I'm a reason
an excuse
a last stand
an exception to the rule
Like a servant with the wrong tea
getting it thrown back
dodging priceless china
we're not in third grade
but still I avoid being knocked out
better than being caught stealing..
you away.

There isnt much to it.
Like riding a bike
With no handlebars
Or brakes
Just close your eyes
And enjoy the ride down
Cant rely on old voice mails
phone calls
and past reminders
Father time gets mad, you know.
For stepping on his grill
and ignoring the present
like a bad pair of striped socks.
Can you do this forever?
I guess you can.
I went wrong somewhere? who knows
I dont.
Do you?
You and your sweet...
Oh your sweet.

Riding the merry go round
like a little kid
ignorant of the bigger rides
with the larger turns
the deathdefying spins
and letting your heart cry out
just enjoying riding around in circles
without a care in the world
I'm envious of those who dont envy
I'm jealous of those who arent
And I'm impatient for those who can wait
But stay on the ride
No harm in that
I guess.

Beautiful
when beautiful used to mean something
Ravishing
when it meant more than a B class movie
Cute
when I knew what cute was
Untouchable
no matter how much I yearn to bring you down
Gorgeous
no analogy.. you just are.

comme un papillon
vous aimer me donne des ailes
mais quelqu'un m'a touché
et im commençant à tomber
pardonnez-moi
mais je suis prêt à essayer de marcher
son plus sûr
et ne blessera pas
quel biseauté soit blessé plus
adieu
mon amour

Oh I'm gonna love to dance again
newly innocent feet anxious to move
freed from ten pound shackles
covered in dark blonde hair
you know what they say
80's music and bacardi
drown out my inner screams
ignorance is bliss
and I'm enjoyin cloud 9
so wont you join me?
I assure you
we'll be fine
It cant be any worse than this
imagining a kiss
just promise, to let me breathe
because sometimes I get caught up
not like you'd stop
Can you do this forever?
I guess you can.
I went wrong somewhere? who knows
I dont.
Do you?
You and your sweet...
Oh your sweet.

mais je m'ennuie toujours de vous

It's all just the same

Whispering sounds
from your highrise in the sky
Not caring to know
whom hears
from within your throne of roses
You speak bittersweet octaves
and cash in on my ears
Basking in a throe of words
Giving me what I asked for
And leaving no time for hesitance
As you; my reoccuring dream
carries on.

A vacancy sign once held over
most of me
all of me
is now dim
For those I dont know
but once cared for
Have shot out the lights
In a holdup meant for an empire
but instead struck my deepest riches
and left me blank.

Slow to recover
Looking after what once was
and what could be
I walk along the sand's of past
and the shores of present
Dying for another shot
For this sensivity to re-emerge
To crush goliath
with a different sling
than where my heart lies

Gazing onto buried treasure
My hands bathe in words of gold
and I remember you; on your throne of roses
and your bittersweet octaves
Giving me the strength to endure
and cash in on what was
and what will be

A smile on my face
as I once again take my place
In my highrise
ignoring those that pass by
breathing in wisps of clouds
and uttering droplets made clear
drenching those that care to stay outside
bearing to the elements
Sheltered from disdain

Wont you leave your throne
to come outside with me
and dance in the rain?

Remember when..

I used to post every day?

I will be doing this again soon. Ive just run a dry spell with thoughts. I guess I've just come to a point where I need a jolt of inspirado. It just hasnt been happening, instead I've been focusing on a couple of things.

- Being lazy. Yes, its always a pasttime.
- Finishing off this semester. Again, a favorite pasttime.

The new Tool Album is simply amazing. It literally puts you in a trance for hours at a time. The sound is a bit different than the previous albums. It's nice to hear intelligent lyrics for a change. On a sad note, I happened to download some hawthorne heights and um. Gay? Its just so 'i love you but i wont ever show you until you leave, where ill talk about how life sucks without you and how its your fault im like this'

There isnt much else on the homefront. Oh, except I'm going to stop at nothing to see the fourth addition to this house gone. But thats a whole nother story.

Movie night

So if you are looking for a good satirical comedy, Go for American Dreamz. Screened it last night with a Mr. Szabo.

The highlight of the night though definitely was

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0410297/

This movie looks like its right up my alley. Really looking forward to it in June.

..............................

http://www.shoutwire.com/viewstory/9311/Bizarre_baby_born_in_Nepal

I dont like to swear but

What.The.Fuck.

I really thought this picture was fake for a second.

New fall asleep TV show

Okay, so That 70's show held my interest for six months at night. It had simple laughs to fall asleep to. but now, i need something more. Any suggestions? I was thinking

- Boy meets world?
- Perahps some classic ghostbusters or ninja turtles cartoons?
- Friends (I can fall asleep to this mad quick)
- Random Anime.

Maybe ill flip a coin. a six sided coin.

The Simonation Proclamation

My fellow Blog readers, I'm glad you could take the time to visit this site on such an esteemed and memorable day. The day I held the truth to be self evident, that no Simon is created equal.

That's right brothers and sisters, this Caucasion Irishmen has something to say! From within a passive aggressive often sarcasic exterior lies a booming voice. A voice that has needed to be heard for years but has laid dorment until this very moment! Hear from the recesses of the deepest ravine to the tallest mountain wherever Cherry is from!

Hear now these truth's that will not fade, but rather grow stronger with age, like a fine wine.

- I am one smart motherfucker.
- I am not clumsy,I just dont care enough to catch the salt shaker that I probably tipped over.
- I will own up this school im at with more A's than an Arab convention
- I know exactly how to turn myself into a sexy bitch, but actions speak louder than words so time to pay up.
- I know exactly what to say to you and how to say it. See above. And prepare to be wooed.
- I flirt. Cuz its fun.
- I write good poetry that will see the light of day. Cynics need not apply.
- I will be sucessful.
- I will drink more than you, and I will probably need my keys taken away from me.
- I did in fact read the Hitchhikers Guide to the galaxy. Careful Cricket lovers.
- I am the best Simon out there. Paul Simon was just a warmup.


fin ~

be amazed.

k thx.

The Daily Show and The Colbert Report

You can like both!!!!!! It is possible!! Cant we all just get along?!

To clarify

Woke up early today for the first time in about a week. Did some work. About to clean out my car (trust me it needs it)

The picture in the previous post belongs to the lead singer of 'saving jane', whose song The Girl next Door keeps invading my radio. I just dont think she resembles The girl next door..at all.

So they found the missing link apparently. People will still doubt it if they can.

And um. I dont like peanut butter anymore. Blasphemy? I'm starting to think so.

Last I checked

The girl next door didnt look like this. And if she did, then I really needed to join that 'greet a neighbor' program my parents are in. Heard the song the other day. I get the point, but should she be the one making it? Eh.

I'm very particular about my chinese food. I HATE a ton of onions in my fried rice. When every bite has a piece, its a bit much.

My Glasses~

I'm on my third backup pair in five months. I seriously have bad luck with these things. Of course, everytime ive lost or broken them can be attributed to me being drunk off my ass. Either being kicked in the face, or randomly falling, or in one case losing a lense on the floor and never going back for it. When they perfect laser surgery, guess whose going to be first in line!

I'm very irate at the fact that our cable company doesnt carry SNY, which is the Mets equivelent of the YES network, so therefore, until this is settled I cant watch them get in third place this year.

Hung over > writing. Poetry that is, I just cant bring myself to do it when im still hungover.

Know whats the best? Finding out I have the Perfect Circle discography downloaded and not realizing it for a month. Guess what im going to be listening to tonight!

I am Ironman!

Sitting hungover reflecting on the beer drinking competition last night, the only thing I can say is I'm glad I won, because frankly, it would have sucked if fifteen beers later I was only in second. Another highlight of the night was two incredible calzones I had. Not only were they my key to victory, but they tasted exquisite. I would highly recommend a mexican calzone to anyone in the greater Storres area.

They were playing Evil Dead in the backroom, and there was someone who 'gasp' hadnt watched it yet! This is a travesty. If you havent yet, go buy Evil Dead's 1,2, and Army of Darkness. Only then will you truly appreciate the term 'B movie star'.

This morning me and my friend had to walk for an hour to get back to my car in the rain. Its been a while since ive been that wet. Where you dont even feel the rain anymore, just the light impact of it on your skin. If it wasnt 45 degrees outside I might have enjoyed it.

I'd recommend singing to anyone who needs a release emotionally. It's very theraputic, plus it puts you in a good mood. Win/Win situation!!

The meaning of life

Is to ponder its meaning.

Title changes

I figured sometimes its best to go back to your roots. That, and I was already starting to see 'Life isnt a spectactor sport' was some Cliche that would get on my nerves. Whereas, everyone agrees..

Ordering 50 dollars worth of chinese food SHOULD get you a blowjob.

Untitled

I dont think
I dont think
That
You can deny this

There are ways
I can show you all night
And there are things
I'll make you alright

Steady now
I'm losing my control
Nothing is ever easy
But I'll look after you
Just look after you

Not to think too deep
Or weigh on you too much
But I think this can last
I think I have a hunch

Watching you just sleep
Sinking under the moon
Somethings I cannot just say
But I'll beg for you anyway

Just before sunrise
You pull me close for warmth
I'll breathe you in
Just to remember
what flowers should smell like

I miss that
And you
My heart is starting to fall
and I dont know where to go
But I'll just remember
Oh I'll just remember
I'll just remember you

There and Back Again..Again.

August marks the 2nd year since my relationship ended. I say relationship because I havent had a long lasting one since, with the exception of a very messed up situation months ago.

I still dont feel like I have recovered fully from it. I Dont think Ive taken the right steps to get over it, because theres always been someone in my mind. There was only a three month gap where I was truly focused on myself. So I only have myself to blame. Any time ive attempted another relationship, it either backfires or im not capable of it, or I get hurt again. It's like I watch myself get hurt though, knowing fully well im going to get hurt, yet going through it anyway.

I think part of the problem is I never really grasped the finality of the situation.
I put so much into it, and literally took way more than I should have. part of me seriously thought that was it, I was set, but as things began to break down I fought it tooth and nail, stubbornly denying what everyone else saw. I would have taken a bullet for this girl , the problem was that she was the one shooting at me. Things ended very abrubtly , like one day we were together and the next we werent. The thing is that what she used to tell me has stuck with me until this day. My insecurities, what I think about myself, how I act towards others. and I wish I could place why.

The problem lies now where whenever a really good opportunity for something great comes at me, I either shrug it, sabotage it, disbelieve it, or run from it. This is not to give everyone whose done me wrong a free pass, it doesnt help that the few situatiosns I have followed through with have fucked me over. Maybe im just really sensitive, or maybe I just havent faced my feelings that have stuck with me.

I made a conscience decision I need to get out of this house. and I believe it more than ever. I think I need to be able to think for myself , do what I want and establish a base from where to feel confident from.

If you read this blog on a semi constant basis, you must be confused. Sometimes I come off as sarcastic, or just plain dry. Sometimes I attempt humor, and sometimes I write poetry. But underneath it all, this is who I am. A very ,very, mixed up individual who needs to find his place. I just hide it well.

.Your revolution will be televised

Watching the sun rise is so peaceful. it probably would have been better if I had actually gotten up at this time, and not stayed up for it. Anything can happen today. I will probably sleep until noonish, go work out, and then smoke a cigar, but anything plausably could happen.

Kinda funny...

That hundred's of thousands of people protested immigrants being possibly removed from this country, yet the biggest enviromnental campaign is about forty thousand strong. I guess people care more about the immediate than the inevitable.

I used to hope we wouldnt blow ourselves up. Now I hope we wont drown ourselves in what was the polar ice caps. And having such a winner of a president, I have utter confidence no steps will be taken that are pro enviromnent. Sorry world. But I'm pretty sure he believes the world is flat, and that our forests are really giant yardsales for industry.

Why do I write this? I'm 21. I have a ton of life ahead of me. And right now my life is being controlled by arrogant tycoon's who couldnt see past their wallet if a tsunami hit them in the face.

I'm sick and tired of this guy being defended on the basis of him "Being a good Christian". I wear a cross on my neck too. Does that mean I'm the next savior? We've lost close to thirty thousand troops over Iraq to seemingly watch them struggle with Democracy, not that they should grasp the concept, they've been anything but since the origin of their societies. Meanwhile, we're the only country to have backed out of the Kyoto accord, which basically means we're not making a team effort to lengthen the earth's recently given ten year lifespan.

And another thing too, isnt the good christian thing not to judge and be tolerant of all races/classes? I'm sick of their coalition complaining about every little thing that doesnt fit their mold of america. Would you like me to judge them? You outlawed abortion in South Dakota, you have taken numerous alternative forms of religion off the air, your pushing for abortion to be outlawed completely, which should be a woman's choice and not some 30 year old hick with a gun's. Your pushing a ban of stem cell research, which would save millions of lives. You have no real idea what's going on since the majority of you live in the middle of the country, have no exposure to diversity or real democracy, and im pretty sure theres restaurants near you that serve fried twinkies. Yet you run the country. Good for you.
(no offense to anyone living near twinky eateries, or anyone that could be a hick. I kid because I love)

I have an idea. Instead of pushing to Ban anything that isnt exactly Christian friendly, you get off your asses and help the massive amounts of homeless and poverty stricken families around America. I'm not sure whats worse. Iraq in turmoil, or America in complete ignorance. It's no surprise that George Washington never wanted America to get involved in foreign affair's. And its the very problems we suffer from today that can be listed as reasons why the man was right. We had a city literally destroyed ten months ago, yet we are still focused on a country that isnt ours. We have religous fanatic's pushing their own jaded belief's and not doing a single thing that their religon preaches in the first place.

Maybe if we werent losing jobs every day to outsourced positions, losing money every day from a hopeless war, losing land every day from deforestation and losing medical advances from a group of people that question evolution I wouldnt be losing faith in our country.

Peace.