Sneakily following
swift like a feline
your paws grace on
each step unable to trace
like the outlines
around your lips
where wine splashes
and drunken smiles
highlight the night

crashing about
leaping through windows
locked from the inside
guards lay sleepily
curled within comfort
and unwilling to change
the alarm sounds
but its too late
your in my view

I watch forbidden subtleties
acted out
through words never spoken
fingers entrenched
occupy my senses
as you go about your way
and with distractions sucessful
my heart is yours
feel free to stay

1650

jest we once played
ignorant of the rest
close my arms bound around you
head on your chest
time felt generous
promise all but bleak
distance closing around us
finding what I seek

soon did dark times lay
promised protection from harm
lazy snow danced on your hair
the day I saw myself scared
with a mouth spewing verbal flame
nouns of poison filled the air
I tried to deflect them back
but your final word had me defeated
there was no winning a war already lost
just save time and lessen the cost
someone else had your reign
left alone I was in pain

as days passed with blight
I found beauty
hidden from you
and when trees glistened
sprouting olive green promise
new hands intertwined with mine

but a voice thrust upon my thoughts
second chance from the victor
you spoke ignorance
admitting of mistakes
we cast out regret
and set on out again
the pleated path invitingly wide
to my heart did you confide

Treason
did you not say
the battle was over
my armor broken
intentions
a sillouette of flame
did many cycles you wait
waiting for just one
mistake


loved the word, said it once
once again without a hunch
twice shouted with repair
softly whispered without dispair

loved it less, yelled it still
meant it more to bend your will

loved you then
love you now
wave goodbye
say it loud

Random

It's been a long time since ive had some banging mashed potato's.

You may not know it

From this Blog, but theres something I miss dearly. I've ignored it for a while; titled and encoded it somewhere safe, yet in the end it finally won.

I miss being in love. I really miss it. It's the one thing I cant buy or bargain or connive my way into having, but I miss it in the worst way. I've masked it for a while and really believed that I wasnt interested in relationships. But I am, and being lonely sucks.

I miss wanting something storybook, or at least very romantic. I miss sticking to my guns even if it means being hurt by having a lack of realism. I want another first kiss to be as great as the first kisses ive had before. I dont want to think clearly anymore when it comes to the heart. I want some part of my life to retain that innocent glint it used to, and while ive grown up in a lot of area's, I just want one part of me to stay seventeen, when I would watch romantic movies and get caught up in a trance, wishing just one part of the chemistry on screen would one day be experienced by me. I want an unlikely meeting and doing surprise gestures and buying more flowers than I can count. I want someone to kiss me like they not only want to, but they need to, like everytime is an untapped well of desire ready to explode at any moment.

I miss all of this, and im well overdo to admit it. There was a void I kept trying to fill with everything, be it food or lies or video games or any old excuse to stay focused for hours without thinking.

it's more than that though. I mean as most of you know my previous relationship had.. a lot of downpoints to it. There was a lot to work on and there were times I disliked what was going on. But in the end, its what comes with the territory. I want to work on things and make sacrifices and all that jazz.

Serendipity knew me too well

Jonathan Trager

  
                 
prominent television producer
for ESPN

  
                 
died last night from
complications of losing
his soulmate and his fiance

  
                 
He was 25 years old
and soft-spoken and obsessive.

  
                 
Trager never looked the part
of a hopeless romantic.

  
                 
But in the final days
of his life,

  
                 
he revealed
an unknown side of his psyche.

  
                 
This hidden
quasi-Jungian persona...

  
                 
surfaced during
the Agatha Christie-like pursuit
for his long-reputed soulmate,

  
                 
a woman whom he only spent
a few precious hours with.

  
                 
Sadly, the protracted search
ended late Saturday night...

  
                 
in complete and utter failure.

  
                 
Yet even in certain defeat,

  
                 
the courageous Trager
secretly clung to the belief...

  
                 
that life is not merely
a series of meaningless
accidents or coincidences.

  
                 
Uh-uh. But rather
it's a tapestry of events...

  
                 
that culminate in
an exquisite, sublime plan.

  
                 
Asked about the loss
of his dear friend, Dean Kansky,

  
                 
the Pulitzer Prize-winning
author and executive editor
of the New York Times,

  
                 
described Jonathan as a changed man
in the last days of his life.

  
                 
"Things were clearer for him, "
Kansky noted.

  
                 
Ultimately, Jonathan concluded
that if weare to live life
in harmony with the universe,

  
                 
we must all possess a powerful
faith in what the ancients
used to call "fatum,"

  
                 
- what we currently
refer to as destiny.
- Destiny.

All romantic comedies should include this

That's it. Say it, write it, smoke it out. I dont think there is anyone on this earth that thinks they are perfect. In fact I'm willing to bet most people think they are far from it. And maybe someone elses opinion may not define you, but its one of the most romantic things anyone can say. Most writers develop screenplays to include a line that no one has ever heard before, that will be said over and over in real life situations; one that defines an emotion. They dont need to. Just let your character say that, once. Make it count and make it sweet, because at a time when the majority of romance appears forced and trite, sometimes it would be nice to hear simplicity and heart; exactly what your feeling.