wrote a new poem this morning. Its about closure. I kinda like it. Inspired by the new death cab for cutie album, which incidently is amazing.
anyways, let me know. I cant really say its about anything in particular, because its not. I think I just have a hard time with closure , in general.
I learned about your eyes on the morning news
piercing with humble beauty
I stumbled about to remember myself
But was caught gazing at the screen.
I heard your voice carry across the room
soothing with melodic bliss
I tried so hard to hear what you used to say
I wish I could remember what you said
when I asked you to stay
The weather report told me it was fall
when all good things huddle close for warmth
Your touch was always so soothing
But I am caught trying to recreate
Thoughts of you in everyone else
My hearts a rowboat, floating in a lake
surrounded by every reason to stay afloat
gazing outward at beauty in every direction
Trying to ignore the hole filling with water
While reliving your every smile
One for every day I held you
And another for every hour you were mine
I'm holding the remote
knowing one day ill be watching another show
remembering another pair of eyes
that will look back at me
There is no comfort in images given freely
but earned through tears once fallen
Maybe when im no longer holding the remote
And dust has collected on a screen once so clear
Maybe when im far from the comforter
that used to wrap us up so dear
Maybe when our love is no longer tainted
Maybe when our hearts are clean
Then maybe I can learn all over again
Why you were the most beautiful girl I had ever seen
3 comments:
You know how hard it is for me to feel nothing about things like that.It's depressing that we are both aware of how much of a memory this is really becoming.It's that kind of thing that overwhelms then fades like it never happened.I feel like im consumed with the what if and the happy its gone.You however,knew all of that.Missing you..but not nearly enough..Ciao
Poem was more of a generic reaction to closure.
The thing is, that nothing has really changed inside. I still feel the way I feel and I still think the same things I thought months ago. But I have spent too long fighting, between you and my past it seems like half the time I was fighting to keep things alive, and as much as i'd like to continue doing that, I cant spending the energy because I dont know how much I even have left. I try so hard to save people and help them.
when in truth, im the one that needs saving.
im sorry, but your going to have to do some fighting this time.
Ya know I'm trying---I don't actually know why I'm still trying because this is so clearly fucked up but I can't seem to let go I feel towards you like a child would to there drug addict mom --I love you too uncondionally.i can't actually explain that though--I can't allow myself to ask what that means but I'm not ready to let you go.I tried to get in touch but how can a girl try if your no where to be found--what the hell do you want from me .
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