Sidenote :
I found out my parents bought me the 40 year old virgin on DVD. Unless someone knows me they are usually shocked at the fact that I'm a virgin, but its not so bad. Of course occasionally theres incidents like the girl from the summer that was primarily interested in me BECAUSE I was a virgin, but I figure if ive waited this long, I might as well make it really mean something. I've had two opportunities to lose my virginity, one time I was part drunk and part actually scared by how aggressive the girl was (girl from the summer), and I kept thinking I didnt want my first time to be with a girl who was conked out of her mind and half naked attempting to thrust into me. Add into that I was still drunk out of my head and dizzy, not a good mixture.
The first actual time was with my ex, but it was such an awkward moment because I dont think either of us really wanted to lose our virginities to each other. It was near the end of the relationship, and neither of us knew what the hell we were doing. Not to mention I didnt want my first time to be in a sea of complaints and then a week of guilt trips, which was what pretty much happened after anything that happened sexually.
this was, after all the girl that asked to have a moneyshot on her face, then yelled at me for two days because "I didnt have good aim".
Oh well. I used to always say "by the end of this year, I will have lost it" or "I have to by the time im 22", but honestly im in no rush. What I really want, beyond anything else , is not only a high amount of confidence in myself, but I'd just like a great relationship. Nothing that a movie could be scripted out of, nothing based on pure lust, just a really good mutually enjoyful relationship. I want butterflies and random making out in the middle of a rainstorm for the hell of it. I want to be able to be myself and not feel obligated to act a certain way. I want someone to hold, but I want someone that wants to hold me too.
who knows. off to sleep.
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4 comments:
It's so refreshing to know that there are men out there like you! And god, the new title on your blog just cracked me (here at my desk at work! LOL) ... hey, i'll show the double elbow next week.. just for you ;)
I have to say I admire your decision. Sex while drunk, least not the first time, is seemingly (to me) unmeaningful, so I say, wise decision on your part. And I'll second Verity's refreshement that there are men out there like you. It sort of gives me hope lol, I say sort of because I'm easily discouraged. As for getting ahold of me e-mail-wise, you've done it, least I've approved you through messenger.
I meant 'least the first time' not 'least not the first time'. Least I think that's what I meant...
yeah she was pissed because some of 'it' went in her eyes, now keep in mind she didnt close them or anything. What was she expecting? Which leads me to my G.I. Joe public service announcement for women anywhere.
Girls. if your gonna take a shot in the face, close your eyes first. Not only does it make you look slightly asian, but it prevents irritation and temporary blindness.
Donating 5 cents a day to the P.M.M.S (preventing missed money shots) foundation will save 10 girls a year from yelling at their boyfriends, and thats all a world we'd love to live in, isnt it?
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