By the way, I'm now adding all my poetry to one blog
:)
So if anyones ever bored and wants to read some poetry, feel free.
Just, uh... be gentle
http://mikehitsthespot.blogspot.com
Saturday, December 31, 2005
AAAAAAAAAAAAAA
My old workout regiment in the summer
Weights
300 pushups
3-4 miles treadmill depending
Now?
like 100 -150 pushups if im lucky. I definitely need to up the ante again. Of course, I was also addicted to diet pills during the summer, and would take 7-8 a day depending on the mood and what I ate. So that wasnt the healthiest of situations either. I kinda need to mix both my mindsets. I'll never get why I'm always into extremes. It's either this way, or that way. It's never in the middle. I kinda hate that.
Oh, also. I just ate my last plate of nacho's, because I cant be eating utter shit so late at night.
I got a new pair of glasses, so it doesnt look like im consistantly retarded!! YAAY ME!
I hope to get super smashed tomorrow night. It'll be mighty fun to be drunk in front of strangers again. good things happen when that occurs. If I dont manage to sign on tomorrow night and wish everyone a happy new years
HAPPY NEW YEARS! Ya'all deserved it. have a shot on me. And if you dont drink..... well. drink. life's too short to have too much concern about your liver, at least on a once a year basis.
p.s. john and I performed quite an owning up on halo tonight. I'm purchasing a headset tomorrow, so when someone asks me if my mom won the lawsuit with the abortion clinic, I can now defend myself!
My minds going around 1000 miles a minute, which would probably explain why this blog is so varied in topic. Aaah well.
Weights
300 pushups
3-4 miles treadmill depending
Now?
like 100 -150 pushups if im lucky. I definitely need to up the ante again. Of course, I was also addicted to diet pills during the summer, and would take 7-8 a day depending on the mood and what I ate. So that wasnt the healthiest of situations either. I kinda need to mix both my mindsets. I'll never get why I'm always into extremes. It's either this way, or that way. It's never in the middle. I kinda hate that.
Oh, also. I just ate my last plate of nacho's, because I cant be eating utter shit so late at night.
I got a new pair of glasses, so it doesnt look like im consistantly retarded!! YAAY ME!
I hope to get super smashed tomorrow night. It'll be mighty fun to be drunk in front of strangers again. good things happen when that occurs. If I dont manage to sign on tomorrow night and wish everyone a happy new years
HAPPY NEW YEARS! Ya'all deserved it. have a shot on me. And if you dont drink..... well. drink. life's too short to have too much concern about your liver, at least on a once a year basis.
p.s. john and I performed quite an owning up on halo tonight. I'm purchasing a headset tomorrow, so when someone asks me if my mom won the lawsuit with the abortion clinic, I can now defend myself!
My minds going around 1000 miles a minute, which would probably explain why this blog is so varied in topic. Aaah well.
Friday, December 30, 2005
I cant help but think
I need a new romantic song. Or maybe I need to hit up old artists. But sometimes I can listen to lyrics and I can imagine that part of me that (see below) I miss. For everything ive come to realize and all the knowledge thats come from experience, sometimes I just wish I still based my viewpoints around fantasy. Maybe its deluded to think that way, I just dont care. It's funny, the old me would jump at a chance to be able to talk like I do now, speak like I do and not give a shit like I do. But once you lose something, sometimes it teaches you to appreciate it like never before.
Like a few posts back when I said the only advice I could give someone is to never become a cynic. The best advice is to always be a dreamer. It's so hard when situations constantly fuck you in the ass and give you the raw end of the deal, but as soon as you lose that part of you, you become "points to the outside world" one of them. You lose the mystery that this world should have more of, and what you have left is a manufactured and bitter perspective. And thats a problem. Why? If everyone lost that side of them, there would be no music, no books, no movies, nothing to even elaborate on the depth's of dreams and fantasies. Why do people write so much when their heartbroken? Because in their heart they still believe what they were searching for is out there. No writer would bother if they truly believed their work would fall on deaf ears, even their own.
The new year is upon us soon. So in the spirit of the holiday, I'd like to give a silent resolution to the population. No matter what your dream is, I dont even need to know it. Be it material or ethereal, involving love or lust or even something as simple as waking up every morning and loving the person you are. Never give up hope. Because its that very moment, when you finally collapse and concede the thing youve wanted the most since the first time you could think for yourself, that everything starts to dull, and you become realisticly, fully and logically, human. No one really wants that. I'm sure some people will read this and think im full of shit. And to them I say "sorry your one of them now", but even if one person agrees with me, then writing this was worth it.
This is my dream. I dont want to be rich or famous, or even to make a huge difference in this world. What I really want, if I were to give a truthful answer.
I'd love to wake up one morning, with a couple years of school under my belt. With a job somewhere in the line of pyschology. And I'd love an arm to be draped across my chest when I wake up. I'd look to my right, or left, and see someone , who I'd know was undoubtly and unmistakenly, inside and out , utterly gorgeous. And then I'd get up, take a shower, and have the knowledge that I am fully secure of who I am and what I want in life.
Whatever yours is, all I have to say is, have at it. And dont look back.
Like a few posts back when I said the only advice I could give someone is to never become a cynic. The best advice is to always be a dreamer. It's so hard when situations constantly fuck you in the ass and give you the raw end of the deal, but as soon as you lose that part of you, you become "points to the outside world" one of them. You lose the mystery that this world should have more of, and what you have left is a manufactured and bitter perspective. And thats a problem. Why? If everyone lost that side of them, there would be no music, no books, no movies, nothing to even elaborate on the depth's of dreams and fantasies. Why do people write so much when their heartbroken? Because in their heart they still believe what they were searching for is out there. No writer would bother if they truly believed their work would fall on deaf ears, even their own.
The new year is upon us soon. So in the spirit of the holiday, I'd like to give a silent resolution to the population. No matter what your dream is, I dont even need to know it. Be it material or ethereal, involving love or lust or even something as simple as waking up every morning and loving the person you are. Never give up hope. Because its that very moment, when you finally collapse and concede the thing youve wanted the most since the first time you could think for yourself, that everything starts to dull, and you become realisticly, fully and logically, human. No one really wants that. I'm sure some people will read this and think im full of shit. And to them I say "sorry your one of them now", but even if one person agrees with me, then writing this was worth it.
This is my dream. I dont want to be rich or famous, or even to make a huge difference in this world. What I really want, if I were to give a truthful answer.
I'd love to wake up one morning, with a couple years of school under my belt. With a job somewhere in the line of pyschology. And I'd love an arm to be draped across my chest when I wake up. I'd look to my right, or left, and see someone , who I'd know was undoubtly and unmistakenly, inside and out , utterly gorgeous. And then I'd get up, take a shower, and have the knowledge that I am fully secure of who I am and what I want in life.
Whatever yours is, all I have to say is, have at it. And dont look back.
Thursday, December 29, 2005
Halo halo halo
Ive concluded my halo playing is based on my mood. Tonight, I was in a good mood. and I rocked the house, slowly earning my ink so to speak.
had a good conversation with a miss ashley depascale (no idea what the last name is but it probably has something to do with cute)
Thanks to my Aussie friend I feel a ton better. Was able to settle a situation earlier this evening too which helped like hardcore. (you know who you are!)
I heard that in NY theres a number you can call where an automated recording is like "You HAVE BEEN REJECTED" in a nice woman voice. I should totally get that number and start giving it out. how funny would that be? Its also in austraila, which would make an even funnier number to give out. yeah my numbers 405-594-496523-40820892.. .swear
whats the one thing you would do if you absolutely knew without a doubt that no one would find out and you wouldnt get arrested.
Anyone? I'll go first
Tip a Cow - theres gotta be a reason thats the number one sport in idaho.
Hire a mexican to dance - their already halfway to agreeing as it is
Admit that I like some Sarah Mclaughlan music.
(Note, its not that I think its wrong to like Sarah Mclaughlan. Its that no one ever fucking admits they like her unless someone else goes first. My apologies to the one known as Dan, may his wit never die)
okay, now your turn!
had a good conversation with a miss ashley depascale (no idea what the last name is but it probably has something to do with cute)
Thanks to my Aussie friend I feel a ton better. Was able to settle a situation earlier this evening too which helped like hardcore. (you know who you are!)
I heard that in NY theres a number you can call where an automated recording is like "You HAVE BEEN REJECTED" in a nice woman voice. I should totally get that number and start giving it out. how funny would that be? Its also in austraila, which would make an even funnier number to give out. yeah my numbers 405-594-496523-40820892.. .swear
whats the one thing you would do if you absolutely knew without a doubt that no one would find out and you wouldnt get arrested.
Anyone? I'll go first
Tip a Cow - theres gotta be a reason thats the number one sport in idaho.
Hire a mexican to dance - their already halfway to agreeing as it is
Admit that I like some Sarah Mclaughlan music.
(Note, its not that I think its wrong to like Sarah Mclaughlan. Its that no one ever fucking admits they like her unless someone else goes first. My apologies to the one known as Dan, may his wit never die)
okay, now your turn!
Wednesday, December 28, 2005
Hanging on a ciggerette...
Okay, my recipe for new years will be
- Bottle of vodka
- 4 ish cigars
- People around me
- A Mr. Williams house
That sounds pretty good.
Its no coincidence that the World of Warcraft login screen is a open void sucking you in. Trust me on this. At around 12:30 I went on thinking I was only going to be on in an hour, I logged off at 4:30. UGH.
So after this tattoo is finished, I'm considering an earring.. I dunno. Maybe in May or something. I still want to get one on my left arm, and one on my right shoulder blade. I dont know what of yet, except its probably going to be a little more docile than a skull with two swords spread across a shield ;) I also really miss my cross necklace. Gotta find that again.
I'd also like to find the side of me that used to dream and set super high goals. Yeah, they were hard, but they also kept me going in the right direction. That's not to say that A hard goal isnt getting 2 years worth of school done in one. But in more than just that aspect. It was really cool being carefree for the last few months, eating what I want, drinking what I want, doing what I want. Having absolutely no obligations than to see friends and have a blast. But I want to take myself seriously, and I want to be taken seriously. And neither of that is going to happen if I were to continue on this path. That's why I'm so glad I'm going back to school.
But I miss just dreaming, and I miss really believing those dreams were attainable. I always felt thats what separated me from the rest of the world. I would love to read about philosophy and how I could empower myself, now I just want to go to school ,get a job, get drunk on the weekends and party.... what. Have I become normal? I dont even know.
One thing that I'm REALLY glad I stopped doing in the last six months is smoking pot.
Mainly because now I see how utterly dull it made me, and makes other people. I'll never tell someone not to do it, ill just say that the entertaining factor behind that person drops about 500 percent while their on it.
And I think I just figured out why ive been feeling the way I have been in the last two months (thank you to the person who JUST made me realize it) That part of me, the part that used to be in so into doing crazy romantic shit, and dreaming, I shut down because it felt betrayed. That blind trust that I used to have in myself and in women, that all was shot to shit. Maybe if I were to trust someone again, then that part of me would open again. Or even if I started to trust my own emotions. that would be nice. hmmmmmm
- Bottle of vodka
- 4 ish cigars
- People around me
- A Mr. Williams house
That sounds pretty good.
Its no coincidence that the World of Warcraft login screen is a open void sucking you in. Trust me on this. At around 12:30 I went on thinking I was only going to be on in an hour, I logged off at 4:30. UGH.
So after this tattoo is finished, I'm considering an earring.. I dunno. Maybe in May or something. I still want to get one on my left arm, and one on my right shoulder blade. I dont know what of yet, except its probably going to be a little more docile than a skull with two swords spread across a shield ;) I also really miss my cross necklace. Gotta find that again.
I'd also like to find the side of me that used to dream and set super high goals. Yeah, they were hard, but they also kept me going in the right direction. That's not to say that A hard goal isnt getting 2 years worth of school done in one. But in more than just that aspect. It was really cool being carefree for the last few months, eating what I want, drinking what I want, doing what I want. Having absolutely no obligations than to see friends and have a blast. But I want to take myself seriously, and I want to be taken seriously. And neither of that is going to happen if I were to continue on this path. That's why I'm so glad I'm going back to school.
But I miss just dreaming, and I miss really believing those dreams were attainable. I always felt thats what separated me from the rest of the world. I would love to read about philosophy and how I could empower myself, now I just want to go to school ,get a job, get drunk on the weekends and party.... what. Have I become normal? I dont even know.
One thing that I'm REALLY glad I stopped doing in the last six months is smoking pot.
Mainly because now I see how utterly dull it made me, and makes other people. I'll never tell someone not to do it, ill just say that the entertaining factor behind that person drops about 500 percent while their on it.
And I think I just figured out why ive been feeling the way I have been in the last two months (thank you to the person who JUST made me realize it) That part of me, the part that used to be in so into doing crazy romantic shit, and dreaming, I shut down because it felt betrayed. That blind trust that I used to have in myself and in women, that all was shot to shit. Maybe if I were to trust someone again, then that part of me would open again. Or even if I started to trust my own emotions. that would be nice. hmmmmmm
I wish that I'd recognize those eyes
Last night I got angry for no reason whatsoever. And it wasnt a dull anger. I was riproaringly angry and about to explode for a good three or so hours. I cant place exactly why, in fact part of me suspects it's a side effect from one of my medicenes, but I was seriously close to just losing it. I think I am just so fustrated with everything. I miss a relationship, but I know im in no state to have one. I wish I could tell everyone how I exactly felt, which I did for the most part, but I still think that it wasnt enough. I like being sarcastic but I miss being sincere all the time. I like being realistic but I miss my old naive self. I feel like theres two sides to me. I feel like I've finally accepted so many truth's to this world, but then theres a part of me that just cant let go of the fantasies I used to be known for. The "hopeless" romantic side that lingered even after high school was crushed to smithereens, and now its just a bitter mirror of realizations.
Who can I really blame it on either? When it comes right down to it, myself. Sure, I can say that my ex picked apart my illusion of what having a girlfriend would be like, little by little. I can say that my experiences with girls havent been the best. I can even say that up until recently I just never really knew how to handle women. Or maybe I just constantly go after the 'wrong' girl. Women themselves tell me how other women are bitches, maybe theirs really something to that. Its said women become bitches because guys become assholes, but who struck first? Is this really going to carry into my 20's,
Lately, my experiences with girls on the friendship level have been great. And I should feel content. I'm not attacking anyone who reads this post, specifically. I just feel utterly fustrated. More on this later.
Who can I really blame it on either? When it comes right down to it, myself. Sure, I can say that my ex picked apart my illusion of what having a girlfriend would be like, little by little. I can say that my experiences with girls havent been the best. I can even say that up until recently I just never really knew how to handle women. Or maybe I just constantly go after the 'wrong' girl. Women themselves tell me how other women are bitches, maybe theirs really something to that. Its said women become bitches because guys become assholes, but who struck first? Is this really going to carry into my 20's,
Lately, my experiences with girls on the friendship level have been great. And I should feel content. I'm not attacking anyone who reads this post, specifically. I just feel utterly fustrated. More on this later.
Tuesday, December 27, 2005
morning calls
Let me enlighten you all to what I wake up to in the morning
we have this hellhound.. dont be fooled by its..."cute" appearance. the thing barks and jumps around me like im a piece of meat and by barking in the most annoying way pieces of steak will fall like its christmas. (p.s. if any women are reading, the thing about me being a piece of meat is not a myth, carry on) Anyway, its been in the house since June, and it just hasnt shut the fuck up since.
then we have this one. dont be fooled. their are six inch retractable claws underneath that pocket. ours looks like that, kinda. except its a lot bigger and a lot pudgier. and it's named after a 60's doll, thank you to its previous owner. I never saw her, but I'm betting she looked something like this
thanks grandma. next time you can name a cat cheech and make him get busted for 2 kilo's eh? anyway , that one only barks at me when company is over. But in the morning when I come in at 2 AM she sure is the first one to alarm the house that I exist. it was cute the first ..day . three years later, im a little annoyed by it.
oh and the best part about these dogs? whenever I eat, they surround me like a pack of vultures, either expecting me to die and devour my soul , or usually just demand I give them a little bite of food every nano second. what wouldnt they eat.. well, after exhausting research, ive concluded that they probably wouldnt eat a stormtrooper. the acid just doesnt go through the armor.
Run space man. run while you still can.
Anyway. I cant help but miss my cat, who is now an outdoorsmen, cut down in the prime of his old age by the presence of dogs. If this were translated to a person cruelty, it would be like me walking into an old age home, picking up an old man with no teeth that hands me a blank piece of paper claiming its his lottery ticket, driving about 50 miles to where there is no one around, and dumping his ass off. thanks parents. this cat has absolutely no hunting skills. It cant hunt mice anymore, hell it cant even hunt its own tail anymore. the thing gets tired so easily. in the morning I also wake up to his diotribe outside, justifiably. he just doesnt deserve to be outside.. you know who does?
the mere fact that someone wanted to do this makes me question why god gave us a strong sense of utter stupidity. Maybe he would be better off keeping us as fish. Because as soon as we hit land, it all went down hill. This is why certain people should be equipped with mirrors on them at all times, so they can see how much of an asshat they look like.
done ranting. this is what happens when I wake up before noon and dont eat my cereal first.
Monday, December 26, 2005
Latest from the simon archives
And there we have it. Its actually on the left side of my back which the picture does not correctly illustrate..at all.
Gasp.. I'm shocked.
I really wanna write a poem right now, but my brain really is on meltdown. This was a good christmas, and I should be happy about that. I really should. I didnt ask for much this year, but I got what I asked for, and besides my tuition was paid for me this semester so thats one of the best gifts, period. But I just feel so distant to some people whom I thought I was close to. I really went out of my way this year to wish almost everyone I talk to a merry christmas. and now that its over,I feel drained. I spent so much time writing letters to people, attempting to come up with everything nice Ive never said, or at least something really pleasant, because I really dont wanna hold back anymore with "the things you never say". I guess I spent so much time wondering that I never took a moment to just stop thinking and enjoy the holiday.
Oh, by the way.
"waves to the newest viewer of the simon journal"
Gonna end this post on a high note.
My favorite muppet
MEMEMEME MEME MEMEMEME MEMEMEME MEMEMEME MEMEME MEEEEEEMEMEMEME MEME MEME MEEE
Oh, by the way.
"waves to the newest viewer of the simon journal"
Gonna end this post on a high note.
My favorite muppet
MEMEMEME MEME MEMEMEME MEMEMEME MEMEMEME MEMEME MEEEEEEMEMEMEME MEME MEME MEEE
Sunday, December 25, 2005
Christmas with the Griswol's
Anyone else wish that Santa existed. Take out that realistic part of your brain for a second. Actually imagine a man that selfless as to deliver presents to everyone in the world. I think I would actually be just like I was when I was a kid; anxious as anything on christmas eve. Now, im up at 4:30 AM about to watch that 70's show and probably not get up till noonish.
I wanna be a kid again! I would gladly replace knowing what I do with still thinking grown ups were huge, sleepovers were awesome, and if I drank my milk i'd really grow up to be 6'1 and play for the NY Giants. I wish I could walk in the woods again and really imagine myself a leiutenant in a war, ducking inbetween tree's and calling out to my fake soldiers. I wish girls were JUST innocent crushes that I would deny if anyone actually asked me, but secretly desire to hold their hand or "gasp" get a kiss. And I wish getting a plastic toy from the drugstore was all it took to put a smile on my face, and on the way home, playing with my G.I. Joe or plastic pellet shooter that often broke the same day, I wish I still believed the singers on the radio believed in their lyrics. Hell, ill even take that I still think they WROTE their own lyrics.
I wish that the only problems in my life could just be cured by getting a bandaid that looked neat, or by taking a nap and then watching cartoons on nickelodean. I wish that when I see my parents fight, I still have no idea what their talking about, and could just go outside and continue imagining.
I wish I still believed in wishes, big or small
I wish I put that on my first christmas list
And that is all.
Goodnight
and Merry Christmas everyone :)
I wanna be a kid again! I would gladly replace knowing what I do with still thinking grown ups were huge, sleepovers were awesome, and if I drank my milk i'd really grow up to be 6'1 and play for the NY Giants. I wish I could walk in the woods again and really imagine myself a leiutenant in a war, ducking inbetween tree's and calling out to my fake soldiers. I wish girls were JUST innocent crushes that I would deny if anyone actually asked me, but secretly desire to hold their hand or "gasp" get a kiss. And I wish getting a plastic toy from the drugstore was all it took to put a smile on my face, and on the way home, playing with my G.I. Joe or plastic pellet shooter that often broke the same day, I wish I still believed the singers on the radio believed in their lyrics. Hell, ill even take that I still think they WROTE their own lyrics.
I wish that the only problems in my life could just be cured by getting a bandaid that looked neat, or by taking a nap and then watching cartoons on nickelodean. I wish that when I see my parents fight, I still have no idea what their talking about, and could just go outside and continue imagining.
I wish I still believed in wishes, big or small
I wish I put that on my first christmas list
And that is all.
Goodnight
and Merry Christmas everyone :)
Saturday, December 24, 2005
Wont you be an outlaw for my love
Theres a saying out there in this world that if somethings meant to happen, it will. And if it doesnt happen, it just wasn't meant to be. I both love and hate that saying. I hate thinking that something just might not meant to occur in my life, especially if I want it so bad. Everything thats occured so far to me has definitely dictated that everything happens for a reason, but sometimes thats just so fucking aggravating.
I'll be honest. I'm lonely. I just want someone to cuddle with and be close to, but I also realize that I really need to focus on my life and that all that stuff can wait, but in the heart of winter when your sitting by yourself at night, that realization can be easy to forget. It's so easy to sit up thinking of a situation in your head, playing out the thousands of possibilities the next six months have to offer. And then I hate life for forcing me to be patient in some area's, and then I hate myself for waiting this long to get serious about my future. I keep thinking, if I had done everything like I had supposed to, this wouldnt be happening right now.
I also hate life because sometimes its unfair to people who deserve it the least. My friend John who has had such a rough last six months, is one of the better guys in this world and he totally didnt deserve an ounce of the shit that was thrown at him. I really hope that this next year he finds happiness and things start going in his favor.
My sister who has made a lot of mistakes in her life but has always bounced back, she has gone through more rough spells than anyone I know, and why? How is it that some people seemingly have a smooth sail through their existance, totally dont appreciate it, and end up wishing they hadnt fucked up opportunities given to them. Then theres people who do everything right, are the "nice guy" or "nice girl", constantly have it hard, and just deserve better.
Christmas is a time for giving and being thankful for what is in your life. And what is in my life?
An awesome group of friends
A spring to look forward to
The whole rest of my life ahead of me
The realization of everything listed above
So, when it comes right down to it, if I had to change anything I did since June, it would probably be.. nothing. If theres the mere possibility I wouldnt be in the same mindset I am in now, I wouldnt exchange it for anything. Even if I could take back all the shit that happened to me in August and September, or all the moments when I made the wrong decisions, or focused too much attention on the wrong people. If I had to give advice to someone, here and now, it would be to never become a cynic. It's your life to appreciate and live, dont spend it sarcastically taking apart someone elses.
I'm out. peace
I'll be honest. I'm lonely. I just want someone to cuddle with and be close to, but I also realize that I really need to focus on my life and that all that stuff can wait, but in the heart of winter when your sitting by yourself at night, that realization can be easy to forget. It's so easy to sit up thinking of a situation in your head, playing out the thousands of possibilities the next six months have to offer. And then I hate life for forcing me to be patient in some area's, and then I hate myself for waiting this long to get serious about my future. I keep thinking, if I had done everything like I had supposed to, this wouldnt be happening right now.
I also hate life because sometimes its unfair to people who deserve it the least. My friend John who has had such a rough last six months, is one of the better guys in this world and he totally didnt deserve an ounce of the shit that was thrown at him. I really hope that this next year he finds happiness and things start going in his favor.
My sister who has made a lot of mistakes in her life but has always bounced back, she has gone through more rough spells than anyone I know, and why? How is it that some people seemingly have a smooth sail through their existance, totally dont appreciate it, and end up wishing they hadnt fucked up opportunities given to them. Then theres people who do everything right, are the "nice guy" or "nice girl", constantly have it hard, and just deserve better.
Christmas is a time for giving and being thankful for what is in your life. And what is in my life?
An awesome group of friends
A spring to look forward to
The whole rest of my life ahead of me
The realization of everything listed above
So, when it comes right down to it, if I had to change anything I did since June, it would probably be.. nothing. If theres the mere possibility I wouldnt be in the same mindset I am in now, I wouldnt exchange it for anything. Even if I could take back all the shit that happened to me in August and September, or all the moments when I made the wrong decisions, or focused too much attention on the wrong people. If I had to give advice to someone, here and now, it would be to never become a cynic. It's your life to appreciate and live, dont spend it sarcastically taking apart someone elses.
I'm out. peace
Friday, December 23, 2005
You
You
Pictures of your smile
Lodged in my brain between
Random thoughts and concrete wants
Never upgraded the camera
Soft crimson lips were always better in person
I miss the spring
My steps awkwardly circling
the hardwood floor where i left my dream
dancing around and around in ways foreign
learning steps and routines
leaving my old self in bad shoes and ripped jeans
weaving around an unsung beauty
your lips were always better in person
I miss the summer
Walking the still stale sand
Always close enough to merit a chuckle
but far enough to never hold your hand
never more desired to grasp five fingers
and all the while, a daze to the senses
My nose smell's bitter seawater
But my eyes gaze on those sweet lips
they were always better in person
I miss the fall
Awoken now are those dreams
Never to be comprimised or traded in
Sick of getting less than I asked
Never more than I bargained for
Given a second chance at the future
Nothing will take that away
But between the random thoughts and concrete wants
Wedged inside an infinite space
Those soft crimson lips
That I always wanted to kiss
They were always better in person
And i'll miss the spring, And i'll miss the fall
But if one day day we meet again, i'd tell you
I missed you most of all
Pictures of your smile
Lodged in my brain between
Random thoughts and concrete wants
Never upgraded the camera
Soft crimson lips were always better in person
I miss the spring
My steps awkwardly circling
the hardwood floor where i left my dream
dancing around and around in ways foreign
learning steps and routines
leaving my old self in bad shoes and ripped jeans
weaving around an unsung beauty
your lips were always better in person
I miss the summer
Walking the still stale sand
Always close enough to merit a chuckle
but far enough to never hold your hand
never more desired to grasp five fingers
and all the while, a daze to the senses
My nose smell's bitter seawater
But my eyes gaze on those sweet lips
they were always better in person
I miss the fall
Awoken now are those dreams
Never to be comprimised or traded in
Sick of getting less than I asked
Never more than I bargained for
Given a second chance at the future
Nothing will take that away
But between the random thoughts and concrete wants
Wedged inside an infinite space
Those soft crimson lips
That I always wanted to kiss
They were always better in person
And i'll miss the spring, And i'll miss the fall
But if one day day we meet again, i'd tell you
I missed you most of all
...
I just got a popup add to win 2 free dinners to Chili's if I applied to 3 credit cards signed up for publishers clearing house and gave my left nut to the prospect of advancing a cure for polio.
how dare they slander the holy trinity known as the Chili's restaurant chain.
That is all.
how dare they slander the holy trinity known as the Chili's restaurant chain.
That is all.
Thursday, December 22, 2005
Idle hands...
I cant fucking wait for school to start.. Wanna know what my schedule has been like for the last week
Sleep till 12-2 pm depending
Play WoW or Halo or write something
Eat
Go to Joe's apartment and chill out till 1 or 2 am
Come home and watch that 70's show
thats it.. wanna know whose getting more accomplished than me?
Burnt toast. yes. thats right. at least theres a conclusion to the toast's existence. Even when I start going to the gym again once this tattoo heals thats only going to be another hour or two of productiveness. I'd get a job, but at this point would I really want to work along with 18 credits worth of work? the answer..probably not. but my lack of funds is becoming quite a complaint of mine.
I made some awesome nacho's tonight. tripled the normal amount of cheese i'd normally put in. Gotta love those mexican's. Without them i'd be resorted to calling it "chips with cheese" or some other structured-like sentence. But thanks to old el paso now I can sum up my snack experience in one word; nacho's. Man, besides cheap labor and supplying the world's sweat shop's work force those little people sure are crafty!
Hi, I'm Mike'. We've had a lot of great laugh's tonight, but the important thing to keep in mind is, its not right to insult mexicans. Sure, they may be short, funny looking, and often times be seen carrying cement on their backs, but damnit their people too! And besides, without them, who would we look to be the literal building blocks for american industry? Canadians?
Sleep till 12-2 pm depending
Play WoW or Halo or write something
Eat
Go to Joe's apartment and chill out till 1 or 2 am
Come home and watch that 70's show
thats it.. wanna know whose getting more accomplished than me?
Burnt toast. yes. thats right. at least theres a conclusion to the toast's existence. Even when I start going to the gym again once this tattoo heals thats only going to be another hour or two of productiveness. I'd get a job, but at this point would I really want to work along with 18 credits worth of work? the answer..probably not. but my lack of funds is becoming quite a complaint of mine.
I made some awesome nacho's tonight. tripled the normal amount of cheese i'd normally put in. Gotta love those mexican's. Without them i'd be resorted to calling it "chips with cheese" or some other structured-like sentence. But thanks to old el paso now I can sum up my snack experience in one word; nacho's. Man, besides cheap labor and supplying the world's sweat shop's work force those little people sure are crafty!
Hi, I'm Mike'. We've had a lot of great laugh's tonight, but the important thing to keep in mind is, its not right to insult mexicans. Sure, they may be short, funny looking, and often times be seen carrying cement on their backs, but damnit their people too! And besides, without them, who would we look to be the literal building blocks for american industry? Canadians?
Wednesday, December 21, 2005
Family Guy Versus the Simpsons
I think at least once a month I bear witness to the debate of what cartoon is better, Family Guy or the Simpsons. I propose an answer that will quell the argument forever.
Who the fuck cares?
Both are different styles of humor and both are good for laugh's, so why does there have to be a "better". The Simpsons has been on for ten seasons, and there is no denying the great quality of episodes that have come out of that show. Those who say its gone downhill over the last couple of years really havent watched it consistantly, or are just nostalgic over the classic episodes. The humor behind it is both simplistic and "under the radar" so to speak; hell theres even a "The simpsons and philosophy" book released, giving an in depth analysis of each character.
Family guy? Spontanious humor, one dimensional characters. Nothing more, nothing less. There is no intelligent subtle humor involved. The show revolves around a consistant shock value that probably lasts longer than other comedy venues that have used the same style. Where the simpsons have constant parodies on our society, family guy is more or less a synopsis of every wacky idea the human intelligence has ever concieved while on drugs. In fact the closest thing to "real" about this show lies
in a poor boy who draws a striking resemblence to Peter Griffin. Picture above..
Who the fuck cares?
Both are different styles of humor and both are good for laugh's, so why does there have to be a "better". The Simpsons has been on for ten seasons, and there is no denying the great quality of episodes that have come out of that show. Those who say its gone downhill over the last couple of years really havent watched it consistantly, or are just nostalgic over the classic episodes. The humor behind it is both simplistic and "under the radar" so to speak; hell theres even a "The simpsons and philosophy" book released, giving an in depth analysis of each character.
Family guy? Spontanious humor, one dimensional characters. Nothing more, nothing less. There is no intelligent subtle humor involved. The show revolves around a consistant shock value that probably lasts longer than other comedy venues that have used the same style. Where the simpsons have constant parodies on our society, family guy is more or less a synopsis of every wacky idea the human intelligence has ever concieved while on drugs. In fact the closest thing to "real" about this show lies
in a poor boy who draws a striking resemblence to Peter Griffin. Picture above..
Tuesday, December 20, 2005
Sooooo
Okay, so last night I got the outline for my tattoo finished. for those who arent aware of what it is.. its the legendary symbol from halo, but instead of the two swords originally in the drawing, its gunblades with altered sword hilts. pictures below of what im talking about. im not uploading a picture of the actual tattoo until it gets colored in.
Sunday, December 18, 2005
What the hell do they put in chicken nuggets?
I can eat about 40 of them and not be entirely full. What the hell? Thats like 3 pounds of meat but yet I just down them like they are sunflower seeds. I dont get it. They taste awesome (especially with ranch dressing), but I cant fill up on them if I tried. EVERY other type of fast food has a limit. I can only eat so many burritos or taco's. Only so many burgers, even chicken sandwhiches fill me up. but those goddamn contorted circle's just keep giving and giving.
Watching Dallas get their ass handed to them by Washington. Maybe the Giants will make the playoffs this year, and make it past the first round.
Watching Dallas get their ass handed to them by Washington. Maybe the Giants will make the playoffs this year, and make it past the first round.
Speaking of complaints..
okay, so I have a gripe.
I really hate it when people get offended when other's use the term "retarded" freely. There are some people who think it a travesty and a sin, and these people need to really jump off their soapbox. Look, when I'm referring to something thats retarded, im not implying that the target of my slander is going to start drooling and auditioning for the next I Am Sam sequel, i'm simply saying that its rather absurd and/or dumb to the point of no return, and genuinely mind numbing.
For example,
"That sword is retarded"
I'm not implying the sword is slow or mentally impaired, im stating that an aspect of it is probably insanely designed or the power of it is off (or way under) the charts.
(after hearing story) What are you, retarded?!
Ever hear someone just tell you some tale where they do something so deliriously dumb you cant even believe it? No, I'm not making fun of the lesser quarter of our gene pool when I yell at my friend for cheating on his girlfriend, or taking horse tranquilizers (you know who you are :P)
It's not a racial slur, its not referring to a lifestyle choice (for most), and its not personally attacking anybody, in fact
"relatively slow in mental or emotional or physical development"
"Occurring or developing later than desired or expected; delayed"
" To cause to move or proceed slowly; delay or impede"
those are the definitions for it. My mother works with mentally challenged children and I fully respect what she does for a living. I probably would call some asshat who drove into a parked car retarded long before I refer to an actually deficient person as that.
There, off my soapbox and tired as all hell. tomororow ill probably wake up and realize this entry truly was offensive, but in the meantime, enjoy!
I really hate it when people get offended when other's use the term "retarded" freely. There are some people who think it a travesty and a sin, and these people need to really jump off their soapbox. Look, when I'm referring to something thats retarded, im not implying that the target of my slander is going to start drooling and auditioning for the next I Am Sam sequel, i'm simply saying that its rather absurd and/or dumb to the point of no return, and genuinely mind numbing.
For example,
"That sword is retarded"
I'm not implying the sword is slow or mentally impaired, im stating that an aspect of it is probably insanely designed or the power of it is off (or way under) the charts.
(after hearing story) What are you, retarded?!
Ever hear someone just tell you some tale where they do something so deliriously dumb you cant even believe it? No, I'm not making fun of the lesser quarter of our gene pool when I yell at my friend for cheating on his girlfriend, or taking horse tranquilizers (you know who you are :P)
It's not a racial slur, its not referring to a lifestyle choice (for most), and its not personally attacking anybody, in fact
"relatively slow in mental or emotional or physical development"
"Occurring or developing later than desired or expected; delayed"
" To cause to move or proceed slowly; delay or impede"
those are the definitions for it. My mother works with mentally challenged children and I fully respect what she does for a living. I probably would call some asshat who drove into a parked car retarded long before I refer to an actually deficient person as that.
There, off my soapbox and tired as all hell. tomororow ill probably wake up and realize this entry truly was offensive, but in the meantime, enjoy!
Friday, December 16, 2005
like a virgin......
Sidenote :
I found out my parents bought me the 40 year old virgin on DVD. Unless someone knows me they are usually shocked at the fact that I'm a virgin, but its not so bad. Of course occasionally theres incidents like the girl from the summer that was primarily interested in me BECAUSE I was a virgin, but I figure if ive waited this long, I might as well make it really mean something. I've had two opportunities to lose my virginity, one time I was part drunk and part actually scared by how aggressive the girl was (girl from the summer), and I kept thinking I didnt want my first time to be with a girl who was conked out of her mind and half naked attempting to thrust into me. Add into that I was still drunk out of my head and dizzy, not a good mixture.
The first actual time was with my ex, but it was such an awkward moment because I dont think either of us really wanted to lose our virginities to each other. It was near the end of the relationship, and neither of us knew what the hell we were doing. Not to mention I didnt want my first time to be in a sea of complaints and then a week of guilt trips, which was what pretty much happened after anything that happened sexually.
this was, after all the girl that asked to have a moneyshot on her face, then yelled at me for two days because "I didnt have good aim".
Oh well. I used to always say "by the end of this year, I will have lost it" or "I have to by the time im 22", but honestly im in no rush. What I really want, beyond anything else , is not only a high amount of confidence in myself, but I'd just like a great relationship. Nothing that a movie could be scripted out of, nothing based on pure lust, just a really good mutually enjoyful relationship. I want butterflies and random making out in the middle of a rainstorm for the hell of it. I want to be able to be myself and not feel obligated to act a certain way. I want someone to hold, but I want someone that wants to hold me too.
who knows. off to sleep.
I found out my parents bought me the 40 year old virgin on DVD. Unless someone knows me they are usually shocked at the fact that I'm a virgin, but its not so bad. Of course occasionally theres incidents like the girl from the summer that was primarily interested in me BECAUSE I was a virgin, but I figure if ive waited this long, I might as well make it really mean something. I've had two opportunities to lose my virginity, one time I was part drunk and part actually scared by how aggressive the girl was (girl from the summer), and I kept thinking I didnt want my first time to be with a girl who was conked out of her mind and half naked attempting to thrust into me. Add into that I was still drunk out of my head and dizzy, not a good mixture.
The first actual time was with my ex, but it was such an awkward moment because I dont think either of us really wanted to lose our virginities to each other. It was near the end of the relationship, and neither of us knew what the hell we were doing. Not to mention I didnt want my first time to be in a sea of complaints and then a week of guilt trips, which was what pretty much happened after anything that happened sexually.
this was, after all the girl that asked to have a moneyshot on her face, then yelled at me for two days because "I didnt have good aim".
Oh well. I used to always say "by the end of this year, I will have lost it" or "I have to by the time im 22", but honestly im in no rush. What I really want, beyond anything else , is not only a high amount of confidence in myself, but I'd just like a great relationship. Nothing that a movie could be scripted out of, nothing based on pure lust, just a really good mutually enjoyful relationship. I want butterflies and random making out in the middle of a rainstorm for the hell of it. I want to be able to be myself and not feel obligated to act a certain way. I want someone to hold, but I want someone that wants to hold me too.
who knows. off to sleep.
Bane
God, warcraft is such a bane of my time. But its just so damn fun. As long as I dont let it impede on anything else I should be fine.
In other news, we still have to put up the christmas tree, and I cannot friggin believe that its christmas already. I know everyone says that every year, and then everyone usually fits in the "but this time, like for real man", but seriously, I feel like its still november and thanksgiving's around the bend.
I think I want to punch Chad Kroeger in the face. I'm not sure why exactly. I just think it would make me feel a lot better. I dont think Nickelback is the most horrible band in the world either, Someday and Figured you Out are halfway decent songs, but he's just the type of guy that you would really feel satisfaction out of knocking him to the floor.
So Pink Floyd + even more insanity = Electric Eels. Cant even begin to describe the kind of acid trip they must have been on while making their music.
I've been told one of the main reasons my blog has been visited semi frequently is the fact that chinese + handjobs was in the title.. perverts. I know asians have small hands and all, but seriously if your gonna look for porn in google at least up the scale to a blowjob. hmmm... in fact
In other news, we still have to put up the christmas tree, and I cannot friggin believe that its christmas already. I know everyone says that every year, and then everyone usually fits in the "but this time, like for real man", but seriously, I feel like its still november and thanksgiving's around the bend.
I think I want to punch Chad Kroeger in the face. I'm not sure why exactly. I just think it would make me feel a lot better. I dont think Nickelback is the most horrible band in the world either, Someday and Figured you Out are halfway decent songs, but he's just the type of guy that you would really feel satisfaction out of knocking him to the floor.
So Pink Floyd + even more insanity = Electric Eels. Cant even begin to describe the kind of acid trip they must have been on while making their music.
I've been told one of the main reasons my blog has been visited semi frequently is the fact that chinese + handjobs was in the title.. perverts. I know asians have small hands and all, but seriously if your gonna look for porn in google at least up the scale to a blowjob. hmmm... in fact
Tuesday, December 13, 2005
Reporting from Uconn
So i'm spending my last time at Uconn for a couple of months. I'm gonna miss it, but I think that ive spent enough time here to be able to go to school and not let myself be distracted by the allure of escaping life for as much time as I did this semester. i actually hope I get to meet a ton of people in my classes, whether or not that happens is anyones guess.
I started talking again to a friend that I knew over the summer. Except this time things are different. Much different. And for the better too. My no girl policy I enacted for the spring might have to be overturned, thank god im not the U.S. constitution ...ZZING. eh, we'll see.
I'm staring at the medication ive been on for the last couple of months, and I dunno, if you told me at the beginning of the year id be on an anti anxiety, anti depressant and sleep sedative by october id consider you crazy. It's hard to place when everything started going downhill, but part of me is glad things happened like they did. Now i feel more on track than ever, and more close to my friends than ever.
Oh, and I found out my car can go 110, which for my car, is extremely impressive. Made it from Danbury to Storres in 45 minutes, which beats the time I did from Trumbull to storres.
I feel like I have so much more to say, but ill leave that for another post. have to leave my audience in suspense. :P
I started talking again to a friend that I knew over the summer. Except this time things are different. Much different. And for the better too. My no girl policy I enacted for the spring might have to be overturned, thank god im not the U.S. constitution ...ZZING. eh, we'll see.
I'm staring at the medication ive been on for the last couple of months, and I dunno, if you told me at the beginning of the year id be on an anti anxiety, anti depressant and sleep sedative by october id consider you crazy. It's hard to place when everything started going downhill, but part of me is glad things happened like they did. Now i feel more on track than ever, and more close to my friends than ever.
Oh, and I found out my car can go 110, which for my car, is extremely impressive. Made it from Danbury to Storres in 45 minutes, which beats the time I did from Trumbull to storres.
I feel like I have so much more to say, but ill leave that for another post. have to leave my audience in suspense. :P
Saturday, December 10, 2005
WoW startup
So I signed up again for world of warcraft. another month to be exact. dont know if i'll stay with it, but watching Abourne play it on his like 25 inch screen kind of motivated me to give it another go. Hopefully I wont put that much time into it, we all know my experience with MMO's :)
Roads were pretty crappy last night.
I kind of miss my chinchilla. Any animal that can be defined as "part squirrel part bunny" is pretty cool, plus he could jump literally from my foot to my shoulder. Not that he did that often. Half the time I let him out he ended up hiding , then around 5 am I would wake up to him on my chest staring at me. Maybe I just didnt give him a chance, but then again he did end up making my room smell wierd.
I kind of miss my ferrett as well. he was a lot more attentive, but smelled a hell of a lot worse. I dunno. he chewed up one of my xbox controllers, and messed up my remote for a couple of months, so that part about him I don;t miss. Last I heard he found a new home so I'm happy I made that call.
Three books you should read, if not strictly for irony
Brave New World
Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy
Catch 22 (though tis a bit taxing of a read)
Roads were pretty crappy last night.
I kind of miss my chinchilla. Any animal that can be defined as "part squirrel part bunny" is pretty cool, plus he could jump literally from my foot to my shoulder. Not that he did that often. Half the time I let him out he ended up hiding , then around 5 am I would wake up to him on my chest staring at me. Maybe I just didnt give him a chance, but then again he did end up making my room smell wierd.
I kind of miss my ferrett as well. he was a lot more attentive, but smelled a hell of a lot worse. I dunno. he chewed up one of my xbox controllers, and messed up my remote for a couple of months, so that part about him I don;t miss. Last I heard he found a new home so I'm happy I made that call.
Three books you should read, if not strictly for irony
Brave New World
Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy
Catch 22 (though tis a bit taxing of a read)
Friday, December 09, 2005
That 70's show complaint
Okay, so I just finished shoveling a 6 inch deep driveway with 10 inch drift thanks to the plows which seem to love filling up the edge of it with packed in shit.
so, at the end of that 70's show season 3, Eric gives Donna a promise ring, which she gives back, because she doesnt know where her future will lead her,but she still really loves him. He , in turn breaks up with her because "If a future with me doesnt make you heartbroken then obviously i dont know what we're doing here".
What a selfish prick. Its things like that, that make me glad that ive changed in the last couple of years. Granted its just a show, I reaize, but being as if i had watched it a couple of years ago I might have actually agreed with him. Now, I think thats possibly the most pretentious reason for breaking up with someone,ever. Especially at that age. I'ts not right to want to tie someone down like that, if they want to be with you, they will. If they dont, you wouldnt want them to stay just because they have some ring on their finger you gave them.
It kinda makes me wish that I had treated a couple of situations differently. Given more space. Not been such a jealous boyfriend/kid or insecure to the point of letting it bleed into a relationship. I'm not complaining how things turned out, because if they hadnt, I might have never realized this. But it still makes me cringe how I acted a couple of times.
Think tonight is going to be halo filled... as if every night isnt.
so, at the end of that 70's show season 3, Eric gives Donna a promise ring, which she gives back, because she doesnt know where her future will lead her,but she still really loves him. He , in turn breaks up with her because "If a future with me doesnt make you heartbroken then obviously i dont know what we're doing here".
What a selfish prick. Its things like that, that make me glad that ive changed in the last couple of years. Granted its just a show, I reaize, but being as if i had watched it a couple of years ago I might have actually agreed with him. Now, I think thats possibly the most pretentious reason for breaking up with someone,ever. Especially at that age. I'ts not right to want to tie someone down like that, if they want to be with you, they will. If they dont, you wouldnt want them to stay just because they have some ring on their finger you gave them.
It kinda makes me wish that I had treated a couple of situations differently. Given more space. Not been such a jealous boyfriend/kid or insecure to the point of letting it bleed into a relationship. I'm not complaining how things turned out, because if they hadnt, I might have never realized this. But it still makes me cringe how I acted a couple of times.
Think tonight is going to be halo filled... as if every night isnt.
So
Elliott Smith - Thirteen
Good song. covered by Garbage but original much better IMO.
at 5:41 in the morning, when you stay up all night waiting for snow, then sit outside for an hour thinking, pretty much everything right now is moot.
It's always been hard to picture the future for myself. But lately its becoming more and more clear.
You ever notice this time of year almost always causes people to reflect. Something about the weather, or maybe all the holidays and how much closer people get. It almost reminds you of whats truly special in your life. For christmas this year im writing everybody letters. Because I think sometimes when we're all caught up in our lives, we forget to tell those close to us what we really feel, because we almost feel like its implied in our actions. just a thought.
Good song. covered by Garbage but original much better IMO.
at 5:41 in the morning, when you stay up all night waiting for snow, then sit outside for an hour thinking, pretty much everything right now is moot.
It's always been hard to picture the future for myself. But lately its becoming more and more clear.
You ever notice this time of year almost always causes people to reflect. Something about the weather, or maybe all the holidays and how much closer people get. It almost reminds you of whats truly special in your life. For christmas this year im writing everybody letters. Because I think sometimes when we're all caught up in our lives, we forget to tell those close to us what we really feel, because we almost feel like its implied in our actions. just a thought.
Thursday, December 08, 2005
Coldfire
Has anyone read the book "coldfire" by Dean Koontz? Such an awesome book. I love how he always finds a way to give his novels meaning, or at least convey the beauty of life, even within a novel about someone who has a murderistic mage-like dark side. "The Taking" similarly has the same message, with a completely different storyline. I'd begin to describe what happens, but that would just ruin the book.
Just registered for courses. Six to be exact. I'ts gonna be a busy semester. But I get from now until January 26th to relax so its not that bad, plus this whole last six months. I guess thats a pretty good deal. I also found out that I will be able to subsitute teach by the summer, which should be interesting.. I mean whoever thinks the road to becoming a pyschologist involves telling fourth graders what to do :)
top 15 songs I listen to almost non stop
Lifehouse - Everything
Something about the non discreet point the lyrics weave around. Whoever the writer intended these lyrics for, the person literally was everything to them. Plus the melody is soothing.
Jimmy Eat World - Disintegration
Off of the new EP, again, amazing lyrics. If you want it sent, you know my SN so just ask :P
Right where it belongs - NiN
One of those "makes you wonder" songs. I'd describe it more, but youd only really appreciate it by listening
Book of love - Peter Gabriel
Almost the exact opposite reason why I like this one as opposed to "everything". Again, has to be listened to to be appreciated
Building a Mystery,Silence (Delerium),I'll take your breathe away - Sarah Mclaughlin
Yes I like a girl singing to me sometimes. sue me :P She has awesome lyrics, and the song Silence (Delerium)has such a unique sound. (plus I watched a fanmade video of FF8 to it which rocked)
The way I am - Eminem
Because sometimes its nice to tell someone to shut the F*** up when they accuse who you are and what you stand for. It seems like the more unique of a person you become, the more you are challenged by those who seem to enjoy accusing you of being unoriginal or alteriorly motived.
Best of you - Foo Fighters
What Sarah Said - Death Cab for Cutie
Now, I could go off about this album being in my car cd player for a good month non stop, but this song definitely stands out on it. has probably one of the more unique descriptions of love "Love is watching someone die. So whose gonna watch you die?"
Funeral for a Friend - Janeau
Thanks to john for introducing this band to me. Just love the song. No particular reason.
Monchetti - Further Seems Forever
Same as above.
Boulevard of Broken Dreams - Green day
Has a loneliness mantra that I just connect to.
Mixed Tape - Jack's Mannequin
Listened to this song shortly after I found out the lead singer (same from something corporate) had leukemia. amazing song. the whole album is just amazing.
thats it for now. (note, the list went from top 5 to top 10 to top 15, god I cant decide :P )
Just registered for courses. Six to be exact. I'ts gonna be a busy semester. But I get from now until January 26th to relax so its not that bad, plus this whole last six months. I guess thats a pretty good deal. I also found out that I will be able to subsitute teach by the summer, which should be interesting.. I mean whoever thinks the road to becoming a pyschologist involves telling fourth graders what to do :)
top 15 songs I listen to almost non stop
Lifehouse - Everything
Something about the non discreet point the lyrics weave around. Whoever the writer intended these lyrics for, the person literally was everything to them. Plus the melody is soothing.
Jimmy Eat World - Disintegration
Off of the new EP, again, amazing lyrics. If you want it sent, you know my SN so just ask :P
Right where it belongs - NiN
One of those "makes you wonder" songs. I'd describe it more, but youd only really appreciate it by listening
Book of love - Peter Gabriel
Almost the exact opposite reason why I like this one as opposed to "everything". Again, has to be listened to to be appreciated
Building a Mystery,Silence (Delerium),I'll take your breathe away - Sarah Mclaughlin
Yes I like a girl singing to me sometimes. sue me :P She has awesome lyrics, and the song Silence (Delerium)has such a unique sound. (plus I watched a fanmade video of FF8 to it which rocked)
The way I am - Eminem
Because sometimes its nice to tell someone to shut the F*** up when they accuse who you are and what you stand for. It seems like the more unique of a person you become, the more you are challenged by those who seem to enjoy accusing you of being unoriginal or alteriorly motived.
Best of you - Foo Fighters
What Sarah Said - Death Cab for Cutie
Now, I could go off about this album being in my car cd player for a good month non stop, but this song definitely stands out on it. has probably one of the more unique descriptions of love "Love is watching someone die. So whose gonna watch you die?"
Funeral for a Friend - Janeau
Thanks to john for introducing this band to me. Just love the song. No particular reason.
Monchetti - Further Seems Forever
Same as above.
Boulevard of Broken Dreams - Green day
Has a loneliness mantra that I just connect to.
Mixed Tape - Jack's Mannequin
Listened to this song shortly after I found out the lead singer (same from something corporate) had leukemia. amazing song. the whole album is just amazing.
thats it for now. (note, the list went from top 5 to top 10 to top 15, god I cant decide :P )
Wednesday, December 07, 2005
This just in..
what an amazing idea
http://www.exploratorium.edu/visit/tactile_dome/
Its a giant football sized dome, in total and utter darkness, a complete maze. Supposedly while your in it, all your other senses are enhanced, provides for an almost tripped out experience.....
ROAD TRIP!
http://www.exploratorium.edu/visit/tactile_dome/
Its a giant football sized dome, in total and utter darkness, a complete maze. Supposedly while your in it, all your other senses are enhanced, provides for an almost tripped out experience.....
ROAD TRIP!
So we eat on average...
I read tonight that people actually are fearful of eating a spider while they sleep..
First of all, who could be afraid of anything while your passed out. You wouldnt even know if you ate a spider, period. If they even had a taste, youd probably chock that up to morning breath and go rinse your mouth with chemicals worse for you than the spider.
Secondly there are something like millions and millions of microscopic bugs sleeping in your bed with you. Does it matter? do they really bother me? I cant see them, and they dont affect my sleeping experience (yes, I know that they are an allergen to some people but by golly thats what plastic sheets are for!).
To me sleeping is an absolute form of freedom. Our brains are literally free of outside influence, and can go off to wherever it wants. Whats the easiest (most painless) way to die? in your sleep. If a nuclear bomb was to go off, would you rather be conscious, or sleeping underneath your blanket. Who cares what happens to you when your sleeping.
oh p.s. heres the original article about the spiders
http://www.halfbakery.com/idea/Spider_20Early_20Warning_20System
in other news. ..
whats the point in watching it? Every day its just story after story of death and destruction because seemingly our president has a bug up his ass and wont remove our troops. You know theres a word for how he feels, obsessed. I'm almost glad I have asthma so if there was a draft I could give a big fuck off to the enlistment board.
We need more dancing bears on the TV. And less reality TV. The only acceptable comprimise would be a reality show about dancing bears.
First of all, who could be afraid of anything while your passed out. You wouldnt even know if you ate a spider, period. If they even had a taste, youd probably chock that up to morning breath and go rinse your mouth with chemicals worse for you than the spider.
Secondly there are something like millions and millions of microscopic bugs sleeping in your bed with you. Does it matter? do they really bother me? I cant see them, and they dont affect my sleeping experience (yes, I know that they are an allergen to some people but by golly thats what plastic sheets are for!).
To me sleeping is an absolute form of freedom. Our brains are literally free of outside influence, and can go off to wherever it wants. Whats the easiest (most painless) way to die? in your sleep. If a nuclear bomb was to go off, would you rather be conscious, or sleeping underneath your blanket. Who cares what happens to you when your sleeping.
oh p.s. heres the original article about the spiders
http://www.halfbakery.com/idea/Spider_20Early_20Warning_20System
in other news. ..
whats the point in watching it? Every day its just story after story of death and destruction because seemingly our president has a bug up his ass and wont remove our troops. You know theres a word for how he feels, obsessed. I'm almost glad I have asthma so if there was a draft I could give a big fuck off to the enlistment board.
We need more dancing bears on the TV. And less reality TV. The only acceptable comprimise would be a reality show about dancing bears.
Tuesday, December 06, 2005
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Aaah, water, natures fruit juice..
So I just spent 20 minutes drawing Curaga/Blizzaga/Firaga/Thundaga from a meaningless soldier in FF8. The justification for a guy with 500 ish hp having those spells is absurd. I personally think its a mistake considering the guy himself only casts fira cura etc etc.
I need to write more poetry. Its wierd as I'm slowly getting older I am beginning to care less and less of responses I get what I write. It is for my benefit after all. When I was younger, and even not so younger, I used to believe that a good poem could change how a person feels, or impact them in some way. But the reality of it is, that mindset is both selfish and unrealistic. Girls, for example, wont fall over you because it takes you 8 stanzas to basically say "I think your beautiful, hey lets date". If their into you, their into you and they will like the poem. If they arent, the benefits of writing are purely theraputic dealing with the fact that said girl isnt into you.
The poem I wrote below is mainly a lament. I see a situation, that I really want to be in, but I dont think its going to happen. But of course, me being me, when I think about said situation, I cant help but pour something out onto "paper", because it helps me deal with how I feel and accept the unlikelyhood behind those feelings.
Growing up, all I wanted to do was be great to someone. Be that rock solid person someone could rely on and pour their problems to and id at least be able to help them through onto better days. Or just be a great boyfriend. Romantic, understanding, blah blah the whole nine yards. I dont think I put much thought into it, beyond the notion that its a fucking great feeling when you help someone or make them happy. Now.. im not even sure what I want to do. My first girlfriend, though she treated me like shit a good half of the relationship, called me her hero one night because she felt like she could always rely on me to make things right and be there for her. And even though things turned out so badly, I still remember how great I felt that night when I heard those words. I dont believe I'll be in another relationship for a while, but if I could ask for one thing for my next situation, it would be to be with someone that puts as much energy as I put into them, into me. I dont think its much to ask for. I briefly dated someone over the summer who put maybe half as much energy into me as I did them, and it didnt take me long to realize they werent for me,just much longer to accept it.
And furthermore, while im on this tangent, id like to post a rhetoric question. Is it hypocritical for someone who considers themself a romantic to look at porn? It's something ive been thinking about lately. I'd say its a form of objectifying women, but then again 99 percent of them volunteered for the job. And as long as you know its an illusion and that women should never be handled that way (unless they want to of course), is it really a defamation of my own values?
I need to write more poetry. Its wierd as I'm slowly getting older I am beginning to care less and less of responses I get what I write. It is for my benefit after all. When I was younger, and even not so younger, I used to believe that a good poem could change how a person feels, or impact them in some way. But the reality of it is, that mindset is both selfish and unrealistic. Girls, for example, wont fall over you because it takes you 8 stanzas to basically say "I think your beautiful, hey lets date". If their into you, their into you and they will like the poem. If they arent, the benefits of writing are purely theraputic dealing with the fact that said girl isnt into you.
The poem I wrote below is mainly a lament. I see a situation, that I really want to be in, but I dont think its going to happen. But of course, me being me, when I think about said situation, I cant help but pour something out onto "paper", because it helps me deal with how I feel and accept the unlikelyhood behind those feelings.
Growing up, all I wanted to do was be great to someone. Be that rock solid person someone could rely on and pour their problems to and id at least be able to help them through onto better days. Or just be a great boyfriend. Romantic, understanding, blah blah the whole nine yards. I dont think I put much thought into it, beyond the notion that its a fucking great feeling when you help someone or make them happy. Now.. im not even sure what I want to do. My first girlfriend, though she treated me like shit a good half of the relationship, called me her hero one night because she felt like she could always rely on me to make things right and be there for her. And even though things turned out so badly, I still remember how great I felt that night when I heard those words. I dont believe I'll be in another relationship for a while, but if I could ask for one thing for my next situation, it would be to be with someone that puts as much energy as I put into them, into me. I dont think its much to ask for. I briefly dated someone over the summer who put maybe half as much energy into me as I did them, and it didnt take me long to realize they werent for me,just much longer to accept it.
And furthermore, while im on this tangent, id like to post a rhetoric question. Is it hypocritical for someone who considers themself a romantic to look at porn? It's something ive been thinking about lately. I'd say its a form of objectifying women, but then again 99 percent of them volunteered for the job. And as long as you know its an illusion and that women should never be handled that way (unless they want to of course), is it really a defamation of my own values?
Monday, December 05, 2005
Always
Your discreetly amazing, You are a pain
You smell like a summer rose, And your sweet like autumn's rain
And whether or not its meant to be, And whether or not you believe
I know my time around you was forever priceless
By a smile that reminded me to breathe
And my fear of heights will always bother me
And I think physics I'll never understand
But will that ever matter when I finally know
What that feeling was when I held your hand
And I believe in you,
in a way my faith cannot pardon
And I know that someday
Your smile is meant for stardom
And time is sometimes tricky
And one day we may not speak
And one day my words might not reach you
..And fate won't let me peak
But my life is just beginning
And few things can I define..
But im fortunate to know what beauty is
Because your picture holds that sign
And whether or not its meant to be
And whether or not I'll ever understand
I'll always remember your smile
And I'll always want to hold your hand
You smell like a summer rose, And your sweet like autumn's rain
And whether or not its meant to be, And whether or not you believe
I know my time around you was forever priceless
By a smile that reminded me to breathe
And my fear of heights will always bother me
And I think physics I'll never understand
But will that ever matter when I finally know
What that feeling was when I held your hand
And I believe in you,
in a way my faith cannot pardon
And I know that someday
Your smile is meant for stardom
And time is sometimes tricky
And one day we may not speak
And one day my words might not reach you
..And fate won't let me peak
But my life is just beginning
And few things can I define..
But im fortunate to know what beauty is
Because your picture holds that sign
And whether or not its meant to be
And whether or not I'll ever understand
I'll always remember your smile
And I'll always want to hold your hand
Thursday, December 01, 2005
Symphonica
So I got a tattoo on Saturday. I used to wear a celtic cross all the time, but the chain kept on breaking, so I figured this way it would be on me to stay. I'd have to say im pretty happy how it came out.
In other news, in a geek move I decided to replay all the final fantasy games 1-10, backwards in order. That of course includes Tactics and Mystic Quest. I beat 10 the other day, and now im working on 8 because I wanted to give the game another chance. It's actually turning out to be quite fun.
In other news, in a geek move I decided to replay all the final fantasy games 1-10, backwards in order. That of course includes Tactics and Mystic Quest. I beat 10 the other day, and now im working on 8 because I wanted to give the game another chance. It's actually turning out to be quite fun.
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