I cant help but think

I need a new romantic song. Or maybe I need to hit up old artists. But sometimes I can listen to lyrics and I can imagine that part of me that (see below) I miss. For everything ive come to realize and all the knowledge thats come from experience, sometimes I just wish I still based my viewpoints around fantasy. Maybe its deluded to think that way, I just dont care. It's funny, the old me would jump at a chance to be able to talk like I do now, speak like I do and not give a shit like I do. But once you lose something, sometimes it teaches you to appreciate it like never before.

Like a few posts back when I said the only advice I could give someone is to never become a cynic. The best advice is to always be a dreamer. It's so hard when situations constantly fuck you in the ass and give you the raw end of the deal, but as soon as you lose that part of you, you become "points to the outside world" one of them. You lose the mystery that this world should have more of, and what you have left is a manufactured and bitter perspective. And thats a problem. Why? If everyone lost that side of them, there would be no music, no books, no movies, nothing to even elaborate on the depth's of dreams and fantasies. Why do people write so much when their heartbroken? Because in their heart they still believe what they were searching for is out there. No writer would bother if they truly believed their work would fall on deaf ears, even their own.


The new year is upon us soon. So in the spirit of the holiday, I'd like to give a silent resolution to the population. No matter what your dream is, I dont even need to know it. Be it material or ethereal, involving love or lust or even something as simple as waking up every morning and loving the person you are. Never give up hope. Because its that very moment, when you finally collapse and concede the thing youve wanted the most since the first time you could think for yourself, that everything starts to dull, and you become realisticly, fully and logically, human. No one really wants that. I'm sure some people will read this and think im full of shit. And to them I say "sorry your one of them now", but even if one person agrees with me, then writing this was worth it.

This is my dream. I dont want to be rich or famous, or even to make a huge difference in this world. What I really want, if I were to give a truthful answer.

I'd love to wake up one morning, with a couple years of school under my belt. With a job somewhere in the line of pyschology. And I'd love an arm to be draped across my chest when I wake up. I'd look to my right, or left, and see someone , who I'd know was undoubtly and unmistakenly, inside and out , utterly gorgeous. And then I'd get up, take a shower, and have the knowledge that I am fully secure of who I am and what I want in life.

Whatever yours is, all I have to say is, have at it. And dont look back.